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The Beaverton Weekly Report

The Beaverton

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Followers
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The Beaverton Weekly Report
The Beaverton Weekly Report

The Beaverton Weekly Report

The Beaverton

1
Followers
3
Plays
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About Us

Every week Beaverton editor-in-chief Luke Gordon Field assembles some of the country's best comedians and writers to talk, mock and riff their way through the news of the week. Then he puts their knowledge to the test in a very important quiz where the winner gets absolute nothing. Part panel show, part interview, the Beaverton Weekly Report is an hilarious look at what's going on in the world around us. It'll be just like watching CNN, only funnier and with fewer erectile dysfunction ads.

Latest Episodes

December 5, 2018: Trans activists make absurd demand to be treated like human beings

ELuke and the Panel (Lora Campbell, Chanty Marostica and Lucia Linares Leon) do a deep dive on gender identity issues. They discuss how the trans and non-binary communities are dealing with attacks from Doug Ford, Donald Trump, faux allies and even other members of the lgbtq community. Then they break down Justin Trudeau's supes cas 50 million dollar charity donation tweet. And the approximately ten minute long quiz discovers the Catholic Church might be bad?

61 MIN2018 DEC 6
Comments
December 5, 2018: Trans activists make absurd demand to be treated like human beings

November 28, 2018: Doug Ford demands Green Party apologize for letting Oshawa GM Plant close

ELuke and the Panel (Andrew Ivimey, Jon Blair, Todd Van Allen) talk about people getting screwed over! Specifically the people of Oshawa getting screwed over by GM (1:00), Paul Manafort maybe getting screwed over by Julian Assange by way of Robert Mueller (18:30) and refugees/human rights/Mexican sovereignty getting screwed over by the Trump admin (32:00).

51 MIN2018 NOV 29
Comments
November 28, 2018: Doug Ford demands Green Party apologize for letting Oshawa GM Plant close

November 21, 2018: St. Michael's principal promises to restore school to acceptable levels of toxic masculinity

ELuke and the Panel (Callum Wratten, Dave Barclay and Ryan Dillon) figure out what is wrong with the NDP, the Conservatives and Canada's private school system! They also discuss the Ontario PC's war on trans people and the french community, and of course the latest in Trumpworld. Then the approximately 10 minute long quiz finds the best way to win a darts competition.

63 MIN2018 NOV 22
Comments
November 21, 2018: St. Michael's principal promises to restore school to acceptable levels of toxic masculinity

November 8, 2018: The Beaverton will pay whatever it takes to not see Tony Clement's dick

ELuke and the Panel (Michael Balazo, Kristy LaPointe and Ian MacIntyre) try not to get overwhelmed by how much news there is. They start by recapping the midterm elections and CNN's coverage (1:45), then move on to Trump firing everyone's favourite racist elf in Jeff Sessions (32:00) and Tony Clement's Unsexy Sexy Scandal (39:30). Then the Approximately Ten Minute Long Quiz discovers the best get rich quick scheme of all time.

60 MIN2018 NOV 9
Comments
November 8, 2018: The Beaverton will pay whatever it takes to not see Tony Clement's dick

October 31, 2018: New CBC article ranks top 5 murderous dictatorships that can help grow your RSP

ELuke and the Panel (Dave Atkinson, Aaron Hagey-MacKay and Andrew Ivimey) refuse to let the news get them down. They talk Trump’s influence over the mail bomber (2:30) and the Pittsburgh synagogue shooter (11:30), plus his attempt to use an executive order to eliminate the 14th amendment (17:00) while one of his fans plotted to bring down the Mueller investigations (22:30). They also make fun of Brazil’s new crazy leader (31:30) and Ontario’s semi-new crazy one (38:00). And because the news is depressing, Luke reads some Mr. Rogers trivia to make everyone feel happy. Plus the Approximately Ten Minute Long Quiz finds out what has annoyed the Satanic Temple this week.

57 MIN2018 OCT 31
Comments
October 31, 2018: New CBC article ranks top 5 murderous dictatorships that can help grow your RSP

October 24, 2018: Analysts not sure rebate cheques and keeping humanity alive will convince Canadians to support carbon tax

ELuke and the Panel (Alex Huntley, Alice Moran, Diana McCallum) talk elections! The Canadian municipal elections went mostly as expected with Tory being re-elected (1:30), but also contained some highs: goodbye Mammoliti and@norm and some lows: Patrick Brown is mayor of Brampton, a Nazi finished third in Toronto?! (6:00). Meanwhile at Queen's Park Doug Ford is freezing the minimum wage For The People (15:00) and in Ottawa Justin Trudeau has come up with a great plan to sell Canadians on a carbon tax: giving them free money (20:00). Down south the US Midterms are heating up and Luke is going insane trying to analyze the early voting numbers (30:00). Then the Approximately Ten Minute Long Quiz finds the worst Legal Weed take imaginable.

52 MIN2018 OCT 24
Comments
October 24, 2018: Analysts not sure rebate cheques and keeping humanity alive will convince Canadians to support carbon tax

October 17, 2018: Local man willing to do anything that doesn't affect his daily life to stop climate change

ELuke and the Panel (Rebecca Reeds, Craig Fay and Andrew Ivimey) ask the important question: you ever listen to a podcast ON WEED? They talk the media hype over weed legalization (2:00), the vastly different rules/regulations governing legal weed in different provinces and cities (7:30) and shed a tear for the plight of the local weed dealers we all grew up with (12:00). They also celebrate the fact that people are still talking the UN Climate Change report while also bemoaning the fact that nothing will get done (22:00), and recap 2-3 of the 8000 crazy things Trump did this week (30:00). Then the Approximately Ten Minute Long Quiz

60 MIN2018 OCT 17
Comments
October 17, 2018: Local man willing to do anything that doesn't affect his daily life to stop climate change

October 10, 2018: Doug Ford ends opposition to Carbon Tax after reading all 2,500 pages of UN Climate Change Report

ELuke and the Panel (Nour Hadidi, Courtney Gilmour and Ryan Dillon) talk about how we're all going to die! They break down why the most recent UN Climate Change Report is a warning that can't be ignored (2:00), but will be (12:00). They also discuss why the sexual assault allegations against Brett Kavanaugh did not prevent his assent to the Supreme Court (18:30) and wonder whether anyone will even notice a change once weed is legal (32:30). Then the approximately ten minute long quiz presents the most Florida news story of all time.

47 MIN2018 OCT 10
Comments
October 10, 2018: Doug Ford ends opposition to Carbon Tax after reading all 2,500 pages of UN Climate Change Report

October 3, 2018: Conservatives: 'If we had re-negotiated NAFTA we would have capitulated immediately but also gotten Canada everything we wanted'

ELuke and the Panel (Jocelyn Geddie, Dave Barclay, Jen MacIntyre) make jokes about complicated international trade agreements! They break down why 'USMCA' is a terrible acronym (1:30), the Conservatives suddenly pretending they wanted to play hardball with Donald Trump (9:30) and marvel at how the left have become the champions of free trade (15:30). Then they discuss the CAQ's shocking/completely unsurprising electoral victory in the Quebec provincial election (16:30), speculate wildly about whether this is the end of the sovereignty movement (20:00) and round out the discussion with a fun/horrifying breakdown of the latest in Kavanaugh (32:00). Then the approximately 10 minute long quiz discovers the easiest way to commit bank fraud in case anyone was thinking of doing that.

60 MIN2018 OCT 3
Comments
October 3, 2018: Conservatives: 'If we had re-negotiated NAFTA we would have capitulated immediately but also gotten Canada everything we wanted'

September 26, 2018: Justin Trudeau campaigns for Security Council seat by wearing traditional United Nations outfit

ELuke and the Panel (Miguel Rivas, Alessandra Vite and Callum Wratten) are excited to talk about the news and do fun Australian accents. They do a deep dive into the Brett Kavanaugh scandal, recapping the twitter storm when Ronan Farrow dropped the story of the second accuser (3:30), the insanity of the "I'm a virgin" defence (11:00), how Republicans are turning this into a conspiracy theory (15:00) and predicting what will happen next (21:00). Then they speculate why Ford would not do the easiest thing and denounce Faith Goldy (23:00) and laugh at everyone laughing at Donald Trump at the UN (30:30). Then the approximately 10 minute long quiz finds out what industry millennials are killing now.

59 MIN2018 SEP 26
Comments
September 26, 2018: Justin Trudeau campaigns for Security Council seat by wearing traditional United Nations outfit

Latest Episodes

December 5, 2018: Trans activists make absurd demand to be treated like human beings

ELuke and the Panel (Lora Campbell, Chanty Marostica and Lucia Linares Leon) do a deep dive on gender identity issues. They discuss how the trans and non-binary communities are dealing with attacks from Doug Ford, Donald Trump, faux allies and even other members of the lgbtq community. Then they break down Justin Trudeau's supes cas 50 million dollar charity donation tweet. And the approximately ten minute long quiz discovers the Catholic Church might be bad?

61 MIN2018 DEC 6
Comments
December 5, 2018: Trans activists make absurd demand to be treated like human beings

November 28, 2018: Doug Ford demands Green Party apologize for letting Oshawa GM Plant close

ELuke and the Panel (Andrew Ivimey, Jon Blair, Todd Van Allen) talk about people getting screwed over! Specifically the people of Oshawa getting screwed over by GM (1:00), Paul Manafort maybe getting screwed over by Julian Assange by way of Robert Mueller (18:30) and refugees/human rights/Mexican sovereignty getting screwed over by the Trump admin (32:00).

51 MIN2018 NOV 29
Comments
November 28, 2018: Doug Ford demands Green Party apologize for letting Oshawa GM Plant close

November 21, 2018: St. Michael's principal promises to restore school to acceptable levels of toxic masculinity

ELuke and the Panel (Callum Wratten, Dave Barclay and Ryan Dillon) figure out what is wrong with the NDP, the Conservatives and Canada's private school system! They also discuss the Ontario PC's war on trans people and the french community, and of course the latest in Trumpworld. Then the approximately 10 minute long quiz finds the best way to win a darts competition.

63 MIN2018 NOV 22
Comments
November 21, 2018: St. Michael's principal promises to restore school to acceptable levels of toxic masculinity

November 8, 2018: The Beaverton will pay whatever it takes to not see Tony Clement's dick

ELuke and the Panel (Michael Balazo, Kristy LaPointe and Ian MacIntyre) try not to get overwhelmed by how much news there is. They start by recapping the midterm elections and CNN's coverage (1:45), then move on to Trump firing everyone's favourite racist elf in Jeff Sessions (32:00) and Tony Clement's Unsexy Sexy Scandal (39:30). Then the Approximately Ten Minute Long Quiz discovers the best get rich quick scheme of all time.

60 MIN2018 NOV 9
Comments
November 8, 2018: The Beaverton will pay whatever it takes to not see Tony Clement's dick

October 31, 2018: New CBC article ranks top 5 murderous dictatorships that can help grow your RSP

ELuke and the Panel (Dave Atkinson, Aaron Hagey-MacKay and Andrew Ivimey) refuse to let the news get them down. They talk Trump’s influence over the mail bomber (2:30) and the Pittsburgh synagogue shooter (11:30), plus his attempt to use an executive order to eliminate the 14th amendment (17:00) while one of his fans plotted to bring down the Mueller investigations (22:30). They also make fun of Brazil’s new crazy leader (31:30) and Ontario’s semi-new crazy one (38:00). And because the news is depressing, Luke reads some Mr. Rogers trivia to make everyone feel happy. Plus the Approximately Ten Minute Long Quiz finds out what has annoyed the Satanic Temple this week.

57 MIN2018 OCT 31
Comments
October 31, 2018: New CBC article ranks top 5 murderous dictatorships that can help grow your RSP

October 24, 2018: Analysts not sure rebate cheques and keeping humanity alive will convince Canadians to support carbon tax

ELuke and the Panel (Alex Huntley, Alice Moran, Diana McCallum) talk elections! The Canadian municipal elections went mostly as expected with Tory being re-elected (1:30), but also contained some highs: goodbye Mammoliti and@norm and some lows: Patrick Brown is mayor of Brampton, a Nazi finished third in Toronto?! (6:00). Meanwhile at Queen's Park Doug Ford is freezing the minimum wage For The People (15:00) and in Ottawa Justin Trudeau has come up with a great plan to sell Canadians on a carbon tax: giving them free money (20:00). Down south the US Midterms are heating up and Luke is going insane trying to analyze the early voting numbers (30:00). Then the Approximately Ten Minute Long Quiz finds the worst Legal Weed take imaginable.

52 MIN2018 OCT 24
Comments
October 24, 2018: Analysts not sure rebate cheques and keeping humanity alive will convince Canadians to support carbon tax

October 17, 2018: Local man willing to do anything that doesn't affect his daily life to stop climate change

ELuke and the Panel (Rebecca Reeds, Craig Fay and Andrew Ivimey) ask the important question: you ever listen to a podcast ON WEED? They talk the media hype over weed legalization (2:00), the vastly different rules/regulations governing legal weed in different provinces and cities (7:30) and shed a tear for the plight of the local weed dealers we all grew up with (12:00). They also celebrate the fact that people are still talking the UN Climate Change report while also bemoaning the fact that nothing will get done (22:00), and recap 2-3 of the 8000 crazy things Trump did this week (30:00). Then the Approximately Ten Minute Long Quiz

60 MIN2018 OCT 17
Comments
October 17, 2018: Local man willing to do anything that doesn't affect his daily life to stop climate change

October 10, 2018: Doug Ford ends opposition to Carbon Tax after reading all 2,500 pages of UN Climate Change Report

ELuke and the Panel (Nour Hadidi, Courtney Gilmour and Ryan Dillon) talk about how we're all going to die! They break down why the most recent UN Climate Change Report is a warning that can't be ignored (2:00), but will be (12:00). They also discuss why the sexual assault allegations against Brett Kavanaugh did not prevent his assent to the Supreme Court (18:30) and wonder whether anyone will even notice a change once weed is legal (32:30). Then the approximately ten minute long quiz presents the most Florida news story of all time.

47 MIN2018 OCT 10
Comments
October 10, 2018: Doug Ford ends opposition to Carbon Tax after reading all 2,500 pages of UN Climate Change Report

October 3, 2018: Conservatives: 'If we had re-negotiated NAFTA we would have capitulated immediately but also gotten Canada everything we wanted'

ELuke and the Panel (Jocelyn Geddie, Dave Barclay, Jen MacIntyre) make jokes about complicated international trade agreements! They break down why 'USMCA' is a terrible acronym (1:30), the Conservatives suddenly pretending they wanted to play hardball with Donald Trump (9:30) and marvel at how the left have become the champions of free trade (15:30). Then they discuss the CAQ's shocking/completely unsurprising electoral victory in the Quebec provincial election (16:30), speculate wildly about whether this is the end of the sovereignty movement (20:00) and round out the discussion with a fun/horrifying breakdown of the latest in Kavanaugh (32:00). Then the approximately 10 minute long quiz discovers the easiest way to commit bank fraud in case anyone was thinking of doing that.

60 MIN2018 OCT 3
Comments
October 3, 2018: Conservatives: 'If we had re-negotiated NAFTA we would have capitulated immediately but also gotten Canada everything we wanted'

September 26, 2018: Justin Trudeau campaigns for Security Council seat by wearing traditional United Nations outfit

ELuke and the Panel (Miguel Rivas, Alessandra Vite and Callum Wratten) are excited to talk about the news and do fun Australian accents. They do a deep dive into the Brett Kavanaugh scandal, recapping the twitter storm when Ronan Farrow dropped the story of the second accuser (3:30), the insanity of the "I'm a virgin" defence (11:00), how Republicans are turning this into a conspiracy theory (15:00) and predicting what will happen next (21:00). Then they speculate why Ford would not do the easiest thing and denounce Faith Goldy (23:00) and laugh at everyone laughing at Donald Trump at the UN (30:30). Then the approximately 10 minute long quiz finds out what industry millennials are killing now.

59 MIN2018 SEP 26
Comments
September 26, 2018: Justin Trudeau campaigns for Security Council seat by wearing traditional United Nations outfit
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