Hot Marriage. Cool Parents.
Jamie Otis and Doug Hehner
Are you looking for someone to share their deepest, darkest secrets on keeping their marriage spicy? Are you like, “puhhlease DISH on how to be a cool parent .. because, yeah ... I dunno!” Well Jamie Otis and Doug Hehner have got all you hubbies and wifeys - and mommies and daddies - covered, because each week they find a guest who will SPILL all their dirty secrets!Because we all wanna keep our marriages hot and our parenting cool!
Ep 5: Struggling With Loss (You’re Not Alone!)
We never planned on recording this episode, but you know how much it matters to us to be open and honest with you. We’ll never pretend that everything is perfect; we value you enough that we want to be vulnerable with you. Not long ago, we announced that we were pregnant. Jamie felt deep down that this was going to be a great pregnancy… until she started spotting. This can be totally normal for some women and some pregnancies, but Jamie had the exact same symptoms with our angel baby, Jonathan. Unfortunately, for us, the spotting indicated that there was a problem. If you haven’t heard, we had a (failed) miscarriage. We were so excited for this pregnancy, but part of us was guarded because we had lost a pregnancy before, even as we tried to stay positive. It’s amazing how hard it is to stay calm and stress-free while accepting that you can’t control whether your pregnancy has a successful outcome. Of course, this brings up a lot of complicated thoughts and emotions. We’re so happy for our friends who are due around the same time we were, but at the same time, it’s impossible to avoid feeling sorrow that we’re not going to be having a baby with them. Something we’re grateful for is that we went against the conventional wisdom of waiting to tell people about a pregnancy; how can they support you through your loss if you don’t tell them? On that note, we’re so grateful for the outpouring of love. Thank you for helping us to get through things. If you’re wondering what you should (and shouldn’t) say to someone who has suffered from a loss, don’t miss this episode. We’ll discuss some tips, and list some specific things you absolutely shouldn’t say (even if they’re true for us). For example, don’t ever say things like, “At least you know you can get pregnant,” “You weren’t that far along,” or “This miscarriage must be easier than the last one.” Things you can say include, “I’m thinking of you,” “This baby will never be forgotten,” “I’m so sorry for your loss,” and “I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” Even better is to sit and just listen! We don’t want you to ever feel alone. If you’ve suffered with fertility in any way, and you feel like there’s no one you can talk to about it, please reach out to us! So many of us go through these things, and no one should ever feel like they don’t have someone on their side. Finally, we’ll chat about Jamie’s book, Wifey 101! Tune into the episode to hear what it’s about and get a taste of what you’ll read when you buy it. (Plus you’ll learn how to get a signed copy!) Links and Resources: Married at First Sight Hot Marriage. Cool Parents. on YouTube Jamie Otis Wifey 101 by Jamie Otis hotmarriagecoolparents on Instagram Jamie Otis on Instagram Doug Hehner on Instagram FabFitFun (our sponsor!) Use coupon code 40Jamie for a discount! Miracles in the Making
Ep 4: Pregnancy, Loss, and FertilityIQ
Today’s episode isn’t an easy one. We recorded this episode when we were at the end of the third trimester, but shortly after the conversation, we suffered a miscarriage (as you may have heard about). Even though we’re in a different space now, we still absolutely wanted to share this episode with you. A year and a half after we got married, we got pregnant with our son Jonathan. We were so excited, and publicly shared that we were pregnant with our first baby. Just a week later, we found out that the pregnancy wasn’t viable and we were going to end up losing our baby. Naturally we wanted to find a reason or an explanation, and a way to make sure it wouldn’t ever happen again. But the hard truth is that sometimes it’s just out of your control. In the first part of this episode, we’ll dig into that first pregnancy experience, including the aftermath, how we dealt with losing Jonathan, and why bunnies have become so important to us. We’ll then move onto talking with our guests...
Ep 3: Should Hubby Watch the Birth?
By now you probably know that Jamie is pregnant again! We’re so excited, and want to bring you along on our journey. That’s why today’s episode includes the audio from the exact moment that Doug learned about the pregnancy. We had just gotten back from Disney, and he was feeding Henley. As you’ll hear, his reaction wasn’t as excited as it could have been (and neither was Henley’s), but you get to share in the genuine, real reaction rather than a staged moment. Today’s amazing guests are the fantastic Erica Eckman from Everything Erica and her husband Dan, a real estate guru. She and I met on social media when she reached out on Instagram, and she’s honestly one of my best friends now. She and her husband are intelligent, down-to-earth, and just lovely people. If you’ve ever wondered about how Erica and Jamie met, this is the episode for you! You’ll learn that Erica took a chance and reached out, the two featured each other, and the friendship blossomed organically from there. As Erica points out, you never know what might happen if you just say “hi”! Erica is a fairly new mom, and the four of us will talk about the experiences of birth and parenthood. Of course having children is an amazing blessing, but there are definitely parts of the pregnancy, birth, and parenthood process that’s a struggle. There’s no shame in asking for help or not being able to do it all yourself. We’ll dig into all sorts of things, including how Erica’s birth process went, whether men look at women’s vaginas differently after watching them give birth, how long the recovery process takes, how much it hurts after birth (including a story involving peeing on a nurse), the issues that can be involved in breastfeeding, and much more. Today’s Guests: Erica Eckman on LinkedIn @everythingerica on Instagram @dansdadlife on Instagram Everything Erica In This Episode: [01:43] - Jamie and Doug chat about the podcast, and introduce today’s topic: Jamie’s pregnancy announcement to Doug! [05:32] - We hear the audio from when Jamie announced her pregnancy to Doug right after getting back from Disney. [10:08] - The reaction wasn’t as enthusiastic as it could have been, but at least it was genuine! [13:57] - Erica Eckman from Everything Erica and her husband Dan are today’s amazing guests. [16:57] - Jamie explains who Dan and Erica are for people who aren’t yet familiar with them. [18:10] - Erica shares the story of how she and Jamie initially met. [21:14] - Doug brings up the point of people surrounding themselves with people who they admire or look up to. [23:31] - Did Erica deliver her daughter vaginally or through a C-section? [28:35] - Since Jamie works in labor and delivery, she was interested in her birth process and even checked her own dilation. [29:38] - How painful is it after having a baby?! Erica shares a post-birth bathroom story about the pain of even peeing. [31:50] - Erica and Jamie chat about breastfeeding and Erica’s struggles with it. [36:02] - Is the common sense of shame over not breastfeeding self-imposed shame, or is it from external sources? [40:45] - Doug wonders whether there’s a good way to ask new mothers whether they’re okay or might be grappling with depression. [44:21] - Does Dan remember the first time he watched his daughter at home alone? [49:07] - Erica shares a big takeaway: it’s okay not to have love at first sight with your baby. [53:00] - Do Erica and Dan have a favorite motto that they live by? [58:48] - You can tell when a baby is ready for sleep training, Erica points out. [60:20] - What are Erica and Dan’s top tips for keeping their marriage hot and their parenting cool? [65:36] - Erica shares a favorite quote that she lives by. Links and Resources: Married at First Sight Hot Marriage. Cool Parents. on YouTube Jamie Otis Wifey 101 by Jamie Otis Burrow (our sponsor!) FabFitFun (our sponsor!) Use coupon code 40Jamie for a discount! White With Style (our sponsor!) Use coupon code Jamie28 for a huge discount! Off the Vi
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