title

Sunshine Parenting

Audrey Monke

3
Followers
8
Plays
Sunshine Parenting
Sunshine Parenting

Sunshine Parenting

Audrey Monke

3
Followers
8
Plays
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About Us

Camp Director, Mom, Author, and Speaker Audrey Monke and other youth development experts discuss summer camp, family life, raising thriving kids, and ideas for living more connected and happier lives.

Latest Episodes

Ep. 109: Parenting Challenges Q & A

In this episode, I am speaking live with parents from Wayne Highlands School District and Superintendent Greg Frigoletto at Lakeside Elementary. We discuss my book, Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults, and my key parenting tips and takeaways from lessons learned at camp. I spent the first week of October in Pennsylvania and Wisconsin speaking with teachers, parents, and camp professionals. You read about these events and see more pictures in this post. Big Ideas Parents need to have a growth mindset when thinking about their parenting skills. Lessons we learn at camp are: how to relate to kids how to make sure kids feel connected how to handle different behavioral issues as they come up It helps parents to "begin with the end in mind" (Dr. Stephen R. Covey) when deciding where they can make a more of an effort with their kids. Connection is crucial. Begin a daily habit of checking in one-on-one with kids and let children take the lead when they have thoughts to share. Independent kids become the kind of adults that people enjoy working with. Allow kids to find solutions to their problems and issues as they arise. Respond with, "Tell me your decision and I'll tell you why its the right one." This statement shows kids that you believe in their abilities. A habit of "purposeful positivity" and optimism promotes resilience. Allowing kids to be themselves and focusing on their strengths, instead of their weaknesses, brings out the best in them. We discuss positive tactics for dealing with common issues parents face, such as: whining fighting picky eaters kids who don't listen making transitions; routines and structure stressed-out teens gossiping Sometimes ignoring bad behaviors is the best approach. It's important to talk with your kids about the rules and have real conversations about your values so that they understand the "why" behind your expectations. Quotes Audrey: "What I'd really like the subtitle of my talk to be is, 'All I really need to know about parenting, I learned at summer camp.' Sometimes, as parents, we tend to overcomplicate things." Audrey: "To me, a growth mindset is just remembering that we can all do little things to get better and so can our kids. I think sometimes it's really simple, small things that do make a big difference. You have to keep evolving anyway because kids change and each kid is different so just being open to thinking about the little things you can do is really important." Audrey: "Kids need at least five positive messages for every one critical or feedback message." Audrey: "Most of the world does not go to camp. This is true, but many of the things that we do at camp can help the rest of the world. That's what my book is about: how to create that camp like growth and setting at home." Audrey: "Instead of feeling overwhelmed that there are so many things you have to do, just think about one thing at a time and make sure that one thing is on the path towards your end goal." Audrey: "If there's just one thing that you can do, give your children or your child your full attention for at least a couple of minutes every day." Audrey: "We can be so distracted that we forget to actually look in someone's eyes and say, 'What's going on? How are you doing? What can I help you with today?' A one-on-one check-in is not 'How much homework do you have? What time is practice?' or those kinds of logistical questions." Audrey: "One of the things we enjoy about the people we work with are self-starters who figure out how to solve problems. It's a really important trait for adulthood." Audrey: "I think when we are so fearful, we hold our kids back so much that they don't get the chance to show us all they can do." Audrey: "Reframe your child's negative characteristics or weaknesses into more of a strength. You can have a more positive mindset even about negative situations that come up." Audrey: "We can really change what our kids believe about themsel

46 MIN6 days ago
Comments
Ep. 109: Parenting Challenges Q & A

Ep. 108: Simple Acts of Giving Back with Natalie Silverstein

In episode 108, I'm chatting with Natalie Silverstein about her new book, Simple Acts: The Busy Family's Guide to Giving Back. We talk about the importance of instilling the value of service and acts of kindness. She shares how she created a resource of volunteer opportunities for parents and children in her community and what led to her writing this book for families. It is full of ways to make time in your family's busy life for service and suggestions for making service part of your family's culture. Big Ideas Doing service, acts of kindness, helping others is a wonderful way to grow empathy, compassion, and open-mindedness in young children. Studies show that people who volunteer with their families as children are more likely to do so as an adult. Studies also show that volunteering makes you happier and healthier. There are many ways to give back which don't require scheduling, spending a lot of money, or volunteering formally. It can be incorporated into the things families are already doing: playdates, holidays, vacations, etc. Involve your kids when deciding who to help, how to serve, and which charities to support. You can follow their lead and they will be more invested. When we make service a priority, we find the time to make it happen. There are people in need all year long, not just during the holidays. Social media can be a helpful tool for people to promote positive messages and acts of kindness. It can also be a way to get family and friends involved in service. Quotes Natalie: "All of these life skills that kids get a camp are values that parents want to demonstrate and model at home." Natalie: "I do believe that this work begins at home with very young children. Anything we can do to incorporate these acts of kindness into camp life, into extracurricular activities, and most importantly, into our weekends in our free time, is really so important." Natalie: "It creates a foundation, a moral base for kids, from which they grow." Natalie: "Everybody has a laundry list of extracurricular activities and tutoring and sports and ballet and instruments and all of these things. We don't necessarily prioritize taking time out to say 'no' to some of those things and 'yes' to service and acts of kindness and volunteering together." Audrey: "It's a partnership. It starts at home and then you try to find places like schools, religious organizations, and camps, that also support and reinforce those values that you're trying to teach your kids. Audrey: "We can't do it alone. If we're all trying together to promote these things, it works so much better and our kids turn out a lot better, too." Audrey: "As individuals, we all have different things that bring us flow. I think just like regular work, our volunteering should also be something that's in our wheelhouse, things we enjoy doing." Natalie: "We are all moving through our days, interacting with other human beings. Teach your child to make eye contact with the person behind the counter, hold the door, thank the postman. There are things you can be doing at every moment, almost every day." Natalie: "This is not rocket science. I think the theme of my book is you don't have to change the world to change the world. You don't have to fly to Africa and build a school to make an impact on someone else's life." Natalie: "Give (your children) the opportunity and don't make it negotiable. Say, 'This is what we do. This is how our family operates. Find the thing that really speaks to you and then let's find a way for you to give back in that realm.' It just builds on itself for kids." Natalie: "Instead of saying you don't have time for something, change it and say it's not a priority and then see how that feels." Natalie: "We want to model our values. We want to live our values, perform service and acts of kindness, and just treat people the right way out in the world." Natalie: "These are all things that people can be doing if they're mindful of it. It needs to be inte

36 MIN1 weeks ago
Comments
Ep. 108: Simple Acts of Giving Back with Natalie Silverstein

Ep. 107: How College Makes or Breaks Us with Paul Tough

In episode 107, I'm talking with Paul Tough about his latest book, The Years That Matter Most: How college makes or breaks us, a powerful mind-changing inquiry into higher education in the United States. We talk about the state of higher education today and how can we help more young Americans achieve success. Big Ideas Paul Tough's book examines the relationship between higher education and social mobility in the United States today and explores these questions: Does college still work? Is our system of high education fair? How can we help more young Americans achieve success? In the past, higher education was the great engine of social mobility but that relationship has broken down. Today it is viewed by many as an obstacle to social mobility. The most selective institutions, with the biggest endowments and budgets, almost exclusively educate affluent students, while low-income students mostly go to less selective community colleges and regional public universities that spend much less on each student and have much lower graduation rates. Studies show that some institutions spend as little as $4,000 a year per student compared to $150,000 or more on each student at elite, selective colleges. More money per student is spent in public high schools than in most public colleges. In the wealthiest zip codes, more students receive testing accommodations for learning differences than students from less affluent zip codes, which seems like one more advantage for the people who need them the least. While colleges strive to differentiate themselves by their facilities, endowments, and many other attributes, the ethical character of the institution should also be considered. Higher education is not a consumer good, it is a collective good. Tough proposes 3 solutions: Institutional change -- the level of admissions at private institutions needs to change. There should be pressure on them to admit more low-income students. Families should consider the global implication of their decisions and allow the culture to shift away from 'what's better for me' in the short-term to 'what's better for society' in the long-term. Public institutions need more funding and investment so that they can accommodate more low-income students and so that tuition rates don't continue to rise. Although the College Board has tried to change public opinion, they continue to be a force for inequity. The fact remains, the more money you have, the higher your test scores. Standardized test scores need to be given less weight. Test-optional institutions found that they were able to admit more low-income, first-generation students who graduate and succeed at the same rate as other students. Quotes Paul: "I think we have set up this system and there's no one villain that's responsible for the system. We all made it. It has inequities baked into and they're getting worse. It's clear now that there's this kind of stratification of institutions of higher education." Paul: "We've heard a lot about how high tuition is at those private institutions, but the reality is that those institutions are losing money on each student. They spend more on each student than they bring in. That's because they believe it's going to pay off in the future when those alumni become rich donors." Paul: "What is most remarkable to me about those numbers is that we pay for kids all the way through high school and then when they get to this more complicated, sophisticated, essential training for them to get ready for the workplace, we suddenly say, you can get by on a quarter as much as we were spending on you last year." Audrey: "Our kids have gone to very good schools, and they chose them, but we weren't willing to jump through the hoops that we saw other people doing in order to get their kids into those (elite) schools. I was very put off by a lot of the ways other families dealt with things, especially around test prep." Paul: "The overall fact that I think is so critical is that i

26 MIN2 weeks ago
Comments
Ep. 107: How College Makes or Breaks Us with Paul Tough

Ep. 106: Motherhood So White with Nefertiti Austin

In this episode, I’m chatting with author Nefertiti Austin about her latest book, Motherhood So White: A Memoir of Race, Gender, and Parenting in America. We talk about her journey to adoption as a single Black woman and some of the issues faced by mothers of color and adoptive mothers. When she couldn’t find any books on the topic while going through the adoption process, she decided to write her own. Big Ideas Fostered and adopted kids need to be given age-appropriate information from caregivers about their situations. Good communication is critical to helping kids understand what is going on around them. It’s important to never talk badly about a child’s biological parents, no matter the situation. Allow kids to try new things and leave the door open for them to pursue their interests. The term ‘crack babies’ is a misnomer; there is no evidence to support the idea that children exposed to substances in utero can’t thrive in a healthy, stable home environment. People should not be afraid to adopt a child who might be born addicted. Single mothers need to find positive male role models for their children. They can find support from men in the community through sports, church, friendships, and extended family. The Anti-Bias Education that has emerged in recent years is hopefully moving the needle, but the best way to help communities overcome racial prejudices and discrimination is for more families to connect with people who are different from them. If you are adopting a child of a different race, do your homework, understand their culture, and make friends with people of their race. It’s important to respect cultural differences. Quotes Nefertiti: “I always wanted a family, wanted to be married and have children but as I got older, what was really important to me was helping a child in need.” Audrey: “it seems like because of your experience, you understand that adopted kids need a lot of talking to and explaining about their situation.” Nefertiti: “When I became a mom, I made a point to talk about adoption with my kids when they were very young. I started using the word ‘adoption’ and reading books to them so that it was really normalized.” Nefertiti: “I make a point to let them know that I’m so happy that they chose me, that I love them, and this is just the best place for all of us.” Nefertiti: “Your ‘parents’ are the people who provide a home for you, feed you, love you, help you with your homework, and help you kind of get on in the world.” Audrey: “One of the reasons people choose adoption is to give kids the opportunity to have the family that all children deserve.” Nefertiti: “I was looking for words, for information, for contexts to be able to share with people and it wasn’t there I had to create it for myself.” Nefertiti: “The child’s trajectory turned on the environment; that seemed to be the biggest thing that was going to either help a child thrive or not.” Nefertiti: “When you take a look at those families where drugs, violence, or neglect play a central role in a child’s life, if you remove those barriers and put them in a stable, loving household, then it is 180 degrees from what they first thought.” Audrey: “You really had a plan to have a community in place to support your family. You had role models--men, aunts and uncles, and miscellaneous people--creating a support network.” Nefertiti: “Any woman who is going to have a child of the opposite sex, whether you give birth or not, that child needs his community." Audrey: “I think reading to kids and having them develop a love of reading is just so important because it opens up the world to them, whatever they decide to be interested in, they can then go out and find it.” Audrey: “I really appreciate that you wrote this book because I think it’s not only going to be helpful for the people who are in your same circumstances, black mothers, adopting as single women, but also in the general adoption community.” Nefertiti: “If a child can go to a loving,

44 MIN3 weeks ago
Comments
Ep. 106: Motherhood So White with Nefertiti Austin

Live Above the Noise with Rob Reiher

In this episode, I'm chatting with Dr. Rob Reiher, co-host of the Live Above the Noisepodcast. Dr. Reiher is a developmental and educational psychologist, media expert and author. We discuss the escalating impact of technology, media, and consumerism and the overload on children, families, and society. Dr. Reiher focuses on educating parents on the importance of teaching children to live above the noise and distraction of our world.

36 MINSEP 13
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Live Above the Noise with Rob Reiher

Ep. 79: Thoughts on the College Admissions Scandal

In this episode, Sara and I are chatting with Pam Roy, who offers research-based and important information for parents about education and career planning. We talk about how the world we’re working in has changed and evolved since we were in college and how to position our kids for a successful future. This episode was recorded in response to the recent news about the college admissions scandal. Here are a few relevant posts to check out on P

43 MINSEP 12
Comments
Ep. 79: Thoughts on the College Admissions Scandal

Know and Love Yourself AND Your Kids

In Episode 104, I’m chatting with my daughter Meredith who–like me–enjoys learning more about herself and other people. The tool we discuss most is the Enneagram, which Meredith discovered last year through her employer and introduced to me and the rest of our family.

36 MINSEP 6
Comments
Know and Love Yourself AND Your Kids

Ep. 68: 12 Parenting Tips for Happier, More Connected Families

Each month this year, I’ve shared aOne Simple Thingtip for creating happier, more connected families. For this episode, I share all twelve tips! 12 Tips for Happier, More Connected Families January: Daily Family Sharing February:

36 MINSEP 1
Comments
Ep. 68: 12 Parenting Tips for Happier, More Connected Families

Ep. 103: How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids

In Episode 103, I'm chatting with Carla Naumberg, a writer, speaker, clinical social worker, and parenting coach. She's the author of three parenting books, including the one that we discuss in this podcast episode, How To Stop Losing Your S*** With Your Kids: A practical guide to becoming a calmer, happier parent. BIG IDEAS Mindful parenting allows you to have stronger relationships with your children and enjoy parenting more. The strategies you use to remain calm with your kids will work with everyone else as well. Parents often feel deep, overwhelming shame about the way they explode at their kids and this often gets in the way of their ability to parent in the way they want to. When parents become triggered, it's the fight or flight response of their nervous system being activated. Parents need the time to exercise, to get some quiet time alone, and to do some fun things. This will make them less likely to yell at their kids. Parents need support. Parents should realize that it'...

39 MINAUG 30
Comments
Ep. 103: How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids

Ep. 2: 10 Friendship Skills Every Kid Needs

Episode 2 10 Friendship Skills Every Kid Needs Listener Question: How do I help my 13-year-old daughter with her social anxiety? Social Anxiety Resources: What is Social Anxiety?

17 MINAUG 27
Comments
Ep. 2: 10 Friendship Skills Every Kid Needs

Latest Episodes

Ep. 109: Parenting Challenges Q & A

In this episode, I am speaking live with parents from Wayne Highlands School District and Superintendent Greg Frigoletto at Lakeside Elementary. We discuss my book, Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults, and my key parenting tips and takeaways from lessons learned at camp. I spent the first week of October in Pennsylvania and Wisconsin speaking with teachers, parents, and camp professionals. You read about these events and see more pictures in this post. Big Ideas Parents need to have a growth mindset when thinking about their parenting skills. Lessons we learn at camp are: how to relate to kids how to make sure kids feel connected how to handle different behavioral issues as they come up It helps parents to "begin with the end in mind" (Dr. Stephen R. Covey) when deciding where they can make a more of an effort with their kids. Connection is crucial. Begin a daily habit of checking in one-on-one with kids and let children take the lead when they have thoughts to share. Independent kids become the kind of adults that people enjoy working with. Allow kids to find solutions to their problems and issues as they arise. Respond with, "Tell me your decision and I'll tell you why its the right one." This statement shows kids that you believe in their abilities. A habit of "purposeful positivity" and optimism promotes resilience. Allowing kids to be themselves and focusing on their strengths, instead of their weaknesses, brings out the best in them. We discuss positive tactics for dealing with common issues parents face, such as: whining fighting picky eaters kids who don't listen making transitions; routines and structure stressed-out teens gossiping Sometimes ignoring bad behaviors is the best approach. It's important to talk with your kids about the rules and have real conversations about your values so that they understand the "why" behind your expectations. Quotes Audrey: "What I'd really like the subtitle of my talk to be is, 'All I really need to know about parenting, I learned at summer camp.' Sometimes, as parents, we tend to overcomplicate things." Audrey: "To me, a growth mindset is just remembering that we can all do little things to get better and so can our kids. I think sometimes it's really simple, small things that do make a big difference. You have to keep evolving anyway because kids change and each kid is different so just being open to thinking about the little things you can do is really important." Audrey: "Kids need at least five positive messages for every one critical or feedback message." Audrey: "Most of the world does not go to camp. This is true, but many of the things that we do at camp can help the rest of the world. That's what my book is about: how to create that camp like growth and setting at home." Audrey: "Instead of feeling overwhelmed that there are so many things you have to do, just think about one thing at a time and make sure that one thing is on the path towards your end goal." Audrey: "If there's just one thing that you can do, give your children or your child your full attention for at least a couple of minutes every day." Audrey: "We can be so distracted that we forget to actually look in someone's eyes and say, 'What's going on? How are you doing? What can I help you with today?' A one-on-one check-in is not 'How much homework do you have? What time is practice?' or those kinds of logistical questions." Audrey: "One of the things we enjoy about the people we work with are self-starters who figure out how to solve problems. It's a really important trait for adulthood." Audrey: "I think when we are so fearful, we hold our kids back so much that they don't get the chance to show us all they can do." Audrey: "Reframe your child's negative characteristics or weaknesses into more of a strength. You can have a more positive mindset even about negative situations that come up." Audrey: "We can really change what our kids believe about themsel

46 MIN6 days ago
Comments
Ep. 109: Parenting Challenges Q & A

Ep. 108: Simple Acts of Giving Back with Natalie Silverstein

In episode 108, I'm chatting with Natalie Silverstein about her new book, Simple Acts: The Busy Family's Guide to Giving Back. We talk about the importance of instilling the value of service and acts of kindness. She shares how she created a resource of volunteer opportunities for parents and children in her community and what led to her writing this book for families. It is full of ways to make time in your family's busy life for service and suggestions for making service part of your family's culture. Big Ideas Doing service, acts of kindness, helping others is a wonderful way to grow empathy, compassion, and open-mindedness in young children. Studies show that people who volunteer with their families as children are more likely to do so as an adult. Studies also show that volunteering makes you happier and healthier. There are many ways to give back which don't require scheduling, spending a lot of money, or volunteering formally. It can be incorporated into the things families are already doing: playdates, holidays, vacations, etc. Involve your kids when deciding who to help, how to serve, and which charities to support. You can follow their lead and they will be more invested. When we make service a priority, we find the time to make it happen. There are people in need all year long, not just during the holidays. Social media can be a helpful tool for people to promote positive messages and acts of kindness. It can also be a way to get family and friends involved in service. Quotes Natalie: "All of these life skills that kids get a camp are values that parents want to demonstrate and model at home." Natalie: "I do believe that this work begins at home with very young children. Anything we can do to incorporate these acts of kindness into camp life, into extracurricular activities, and most importantly, into our weekends in our free time, is really so important." Natalie: "It creates a foundation, a moral base for kids, from which they grow." Natalie: "Everybody has a laundry list of extracurricular activities and tutoring and sports and ballet and instruments and all of these things. We don't necessarily prioritize taking time out to say 'no' to some of those things and 'yes' to service and acts of kindness and volunteering together." Audrey: "It's a partnership. It starts at home and then you try to find places like schools, religious organizations, and camps, that also support and reinforce those values that you're trying to teach your kids. Audrey: "We can't do it alone. If we're all trying together to promote these things, it works so much better and our kids turn out a lot better, too." Audrey: "As individuals, we all have different things that bring us flow. I think just like regular work, our volunteering should also be something that's in our wheelhouse, things we enjoy doing." Natalie: "We are all moving through our days, interacting with other human beings. Teach your child to make eye contact with the person behind the counter, hold the door, thank the postman. There are things you can be doing at every moment, almost every day." Natalie: "This is not rocket science. I think the theme of my book is you don't have to change the world to change the world. You don't have to fly to Africa and build a school to make an impact on someone else's life." Natalie: "Give (your children) the opportunity and don't make it negotiable. Say, 'This is what we do. This is how our family operates. Find the thing that really speaks to you and then let's find a way for you to give back in that realm.' It just builds on itself for kids." Natalie: "Instead of saying you don't have time for something, change it and say it's not a priority and then see how that feels." Natalie: "We want to model our values. We want to live our values, perform service and acts of kindness, and just treat people the right way out in the world." Natalie: "These are all things that people can be doing if they're mindful of it. It needs to be inte

36 MIN1 weeks ago
Comments
Ep. 108: Simple Acts of Giving Back with Natalie Silverstein

Ep. 107: How College Makes or Breaks Us with Paul Tough

In episode 107, I'm talking with Paul Tough about his latest book, The Years That Matter Most: How college makes or breaks us, a powerful mind-changing inquiry into higher education in the United States. We talk about the state of higher education today and how can we help more young Americans achieve success. Big Ideas Paul Tough's book examines the relationship between higher education and social mobility in the United States today and explores these questions: Does college still work? Is our system of high education fair? How can we help more young Americans achieve success? In the past, higher education was the great engine of social mobility but that relationship has broken down. Today it is viewed by many as an obstacle to social mobility. The most selective institutions, with the biggest endowments and budgets, almost exclusively educate affluent students, while low-income students mostly go to less selective community colleges and regional public universities that spend much less on each student and have much lower graduation rates. Studies show that some institutions spend as little as $4,000 a year per student compared to $150,000 or more on each student at elite, selective colleges. More money per student is spent in public high schools than in most public colleges. In the wealthiest zip codes, more students receive testing accommodations for learning differences than students from less affluent zip codes, which seems like one more advantage for the people who need them the least. While colleges strive to differentiate themselves by their facilities, endowments, and many other attributes, the ethical character of the institution should also be considered. Higher education is not a consumer good, it is a collective good. Tough proposes 3 solutions: Institutional change -- the level of admissions at private institutions needs to change. There should be pressure on them to admit more low-income students. Families should consider the global implication of their decisions and allow the culture to shift away from 'what's better for me' in the short-term to 'what's better for society' in the long-term. Public institutions need more funding and investment so that they can accommodate more low-income students and so that tuition rates don't continue to rise. Although the College Board has tried to change public opinion, they continue to be a force for inequity. The fact remains, the more money you have, the higher your test scores. Standardized test scores need to be given less weight. Test-optional institutions found that they were able to admit more low-income, first-generation students who graduate and succeed at the same rate as other students. Quotes Paul: "I think we have set up this system and there's no one villain that's responsible for the system. We all made it. It has inequities baked into and they're getting worse. It's clear now that there's this kind of stratification of institutions of higher education." Paul: "We've heard a lot about how high tuition is at those private institutions, but the reality is that those institutions are losing money on each student. They spend more on each student than they bring in. That's because they believe it's going to pay off in the future when those alumni become rich donors." Paul: "What is most remarkable to me about those numbers is that we pay for kids all the way through high school and then when they get to this more complicated, sophisticated, essential training for them to get ready for the workplace, we suddenly say, you can get by on a quarter as much as we were spending on you last year." Audrey: "Our kids have gone to very good schools, and they chose them, but we weren't willing to jump through the hoops that we saw other people doing in order to get their kids into those (elite) schools. I was very put off by a lot of the ways other families dealt with things, especially around test prep." Paul: "The overall fact that I think is so critical is that i

26 MIN2 weeks ago
Comments
Ep. 107: How College Makes or Breaks Us with Paul Tough

Ep. 106: Motherhood So White with Nefertiti Austin

In this episode, I’m chatting with author Nefertiti Austin about her latest book, Motherhood So White: A Memoir of Race, Gender, and Parenting in America. We talk about her journey to adoption as a single Black woman and some of the issues faced by mothers of color and adoptive mothers. When she couldn’t find any books on the topic while going through the adoption process, she decided to write her own. Big Ideas Fostered and adopted kids need to be given age-appropriate information from caregivers about their situations. Good communication is critical to helping kids understand what is going on around them. It’s important to never talk badly about a child’s biological parents, no matter the situation. Allow kids to try new things and leave the door open for them to pursue their interests. The term ‘crack babies’ is a misnomer; there is no evidence to support the idea that children exposed to substances in utero can’t thrive in a healthy, stable home environment. People should not be afraid to adopt a child who might be born addicted. Single mothers need to find positive male role models for their children. They can find support from men in the community through sports, church, friendships, and extended family. The Anti-Bias Education that has emerged in recent years is hopefully moving the needle, but the best way to help communities overcome racial prejudices and discrimination is for more families to connect with people who are different from them. If you are adopting a child of a different race, do your homework, understand their culture, and make friends with people of their race. It’s important to respect cultural differences. Quotes Nefertiti: “I always wanted a family, wanted to be married and have children but as I got older, what was really important to me was helping a child in need.” Audrey: “it seems like because of your experience, you understand that adopted kids need a lot of talking to and explaining about their situation.” Nefertiti: “When I became a mom, I made a point to talk about adoption with my kids when they were very young. I started using the word ‘adoption’ and reading books to them so that it was really normalized.” Nefertiti: “I make a point to let them know that I’m so happy that they chose me, that I love them, and this is just the best place for all of us.” Nefertiti: “Your ‘parents’ are the people who provide a home for you, feed you, love you, help you with your homework, and help you kind of get on in the world.” Audrey: “One of the reasons people choose adoption is to give kids the opportunity to have the family that all children deserve.” Nefertiti: “I was looking for words, for information, for contexts to be able to share with people and it wasn’t there I had to create it for myself.” Nefertiti: “The child’s trajectory turned on the environment; that seemed to be the biggest thing that was going to either help a child thrive or not.” Nefertiti: “When you take a look at those families where drugs, violence, or neglect play a central role in a child’s life, if you remove those barriers and put them in a stable, loving household, then it is 180 degrees from what they first thought.” Audrey: “You really had a plan to have a community in place to support your family. You had role models--men, aunts and uncles, and miscellaneous people--creating a support network.” Nefertiti: “Any woman who is going to have a child of the opposite sex, whether you give birth or not, that child needs his community." Audrey: “I think reading to kids and having them develop a love of reading is just so important because it opens up the world to them, whatever they decide to be interested in, they can then go out and find it.” Audrey: “I really appreciate that you wrote this book because I think it’s not only going to be helpful for the people who are in your same circumstances, black mothers, adopting as single women, but also in the general adoption community.” Nefertiti: “If a child can go to a loving,

44 MIN3 weeks ago
Comments
Ep. 106: Motherhood So White with Nefertiti Austin

Live Above the Noise with Rob Reiher

In this episode, I'm chatting with Dr. Rob Reiher, co-host of the Live Above the Noisepodcast. Dr. Reiher is a developmental and educational psychologist, media expert and author. We discuss the escalating impact of technology, media, and consumerism and the overload on children, families, and society. Dr. Reiher focuses on educating parents on the importance of teaching children to live above the noise and distraction of our world.

36 MINSEP 13
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Live Above the Noise with Rob Reiher

Ep. 79: Thoughts on the College Admissions Scandal

In this episode, Sara and I are chatting with Pam Roy, who offers research-based and important information for parents about education and career planning. We talk about how the world we’re working in has changed and evolved since we were in college and how to position our kids for a successful future. This episode was recorded in response to the recent news about the college admissions scandal. Here are a few relevant posts to check out on P

43 MINSEP 12
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Ep. 79: Thoughts on the College Admissions Scandal

Know and Love Yourself AND Your Kids

In Episode 104, I’m chatting with my daughter Meredith who–like me–enjoys learning more about herself and other people. The tool we discuss most is the Enneagram, which Meredith discovered last year through her employer and introduced to me and the rest of our family.

36 MINSEP 6
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Know and Love Yourself AND Your Kids

Ep. 68: 12 Parenting Tips for Happier, More Connected Families

Each month this year, I’ve shared aOne Simple Thingtip for creating happier, more connected families. For this episode, I share all twelve tips! 12 Tips for Happier, More Connected Families January: Daily Family Sharing February:

36 MINSEP 1
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Ep. 68: 12 Parenting Tips for Happier, More Connected Families

Ep. 103: How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids

In Episode 103, I'm chatting with Carla Naumberg, a writer, speaker, clinical social worker, and parenting coach. She's the author of three parenting books, including the one that we discuss in this podcast episode, How To Stop Losing Your S*** With Your Kids: A practical guide to becoming a calmer, happier parent. BIG IDEAS Mindful parenting allows you to have stronger relationships with your children and enjoy parenting more. The strategies you use to remain calm with your kids will work with everyone else as well. Parents often feel deep, overwhelming shame about the way they explode at their kids and this often gets in the way of their ability to parent in the way they want to. When parents become triggered, it's the fight or flight response of their nervous system being activated. Parents need the time to exercise, to get some quiet time alone, and to do some fun things. This will make them less likely to yell at their kids. Parents need support. Parents should realize that it'...

39 MINAUG 30
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Ep. 103: How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids

Ep. 2: 10 Friendship Skills Every Kid Needs

Episode 2 10 Friendship Skills Every Kid Needs Listener Question: How do I help my 13-year-old daughter with her social anxiety? Social Anxiety Resources: What is Social Anxiety?

17 MINAUG 27
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Ep. 2: 10 Friendship Skills Every Kid Needs