title

tcr! diaries - podcast

tcr!

0
Followers
0
Plays
tcr! diaries - podcast
tcr! diaries - podcast

tcr! diaries - podcast

tcr!

0
Followers
0
Plays
OVERVIEWEPISODESYOU MAY ALSO LIKE

Details

About Us

The ebbs and flows of this alcoholic. It's all true. Sometimes I'm serious. Sometimes I'm not. The episodes tend to be short.

Latest Episodes

Ice cream anxiety

EContent published: Nov 1, 2018 at 10:06 am CST · podcast published: Oct 27, 2019 at 10:30 am CST If we’re at a social gathering and it feels like I snub you that’s because I’m not a social butterfly. I’m more like a social moth. My wings are dusty. I check the doors to be sure they lock. I have debates with myself about what I'm supposed to do next. I have the social skills of a turtle. Just give me some lettuce. Large groups of people don’t necessarily make me nervous, just uncomfortable. I don’t like people sitting or standing behind me. I don’t like it to the point where I’ll change seats. If I can’t see everything I feel somewhat flustered. I like to keep an eye on things. That might sound cliche or overused or whatever but it’s because it’s a real thing that affects more people than it should. Talking one-on-one and sometimes one-on-two is fine. I've researched effective communication skills and social graces. One of the best things I learned was to ask other people...

-1 s2 w ago
Comments
Ice cream anxiety

I've lit my life on fire

EContent published: Jul 12, 2017 at 7:28 am CST · podcast published: Oct 14, 2019 at 7:30 am CST If you haven't heard this story, you're in luck. The first week or so I was sober I was sitting in a meeting and said, “I’ve lit my life on fire.” When I was drinking I wasn’t capable of caring because I was drunk and numb to my life burning. But being freshly sober I was like, “Oh my fucking god. My life is on fire.” I was freaking out, anxious all the time, having panic attacks... And I really, really didn't want my life to burn down. As I was talking during that meeting, I was looking around the room and most people were nodding because they, too, had set their lives on fire at one time or another. Knowing that others could relate to what I’d done and how I was feeling gave me some hope. It made me feel accepted, that I was in the right place. My whole life I’d waited to belong somewhere and now I finally had. On more than a superficial level. And that was all of Step Two’s ...

-1 sOCT 14
Comments
I've lit my life on fire

Back to regular life

EContent published: Apr 19, 2019 at 9:56 am CST · podcast published: Oct 6, 2019 at 3:30 pm CST Do you know what I really hate? When somebody is being over-the-top nice after they’ve fucked something up. Do you know what I really like? When someone offers up a sincere apology and then gets on with the day. Own it. Regret it. Forget it. Take five minutes, have a real conversation, and then go back to regular life. If I don’t acknowledge I can come across like an unsympathetic magician. Trying to trick you into paying attention to my magic rabbit and hat. All the while my other hand is holding a bloody knife. I’m not fooling anyone. And then if I’m dancing around like an out-of-the-ordinary, out-of-control ballerina with an obviously fabricated sugary song and dance, it only makes whatever transgression worse. It prolongs the distress. Elaine said to me seven years ago, “…and don't grovel.” I get “wanting to make it better” with flowers from up my sleeve and I’m sure I’ve t...

-1 sOCT 6
Comments
Back to regular life

The summer of 2019

EContent published: Sep 27, 2019 at 10:00 am CST · podcast published: Sep 27, 2019 at 10:00 am CST Peeps, it was a busy summer. Most of it was spent cleaning and packing up my house. That was a lot. I lived there for 11 years, the longest place I’d ever lived in my life. I threw away countless bags of trash, of life debris and clutter. ⛸ In June Sara and I went to see Ludovico at the Cadillac Palace in Chicago. Maggie and I went to Gay Pride in Aurora. Sara took all of us to Cantigny Park for my 47th birthday. We played mini golf in the dark during Swedish Days. In July there was the case of the stolen bicycle and Maggie turned 14. We went to Minneapolis to check out the Mall of America and Paisley Park. Maggie started high school in August, too. Five chipmunks were caught and released over the summer. I took over 450 photos. I didn’t keep track of how many restaurants that Sara and I went to. This month of September we went to Nebraska for Sara’s sister’s wedding. During the s...

-1 sSEP 27
Comments
The summer of 2019

jolly green.mp3

EContent published: Sep 21, 2019 at 8:30 am CST · podcast published: Sep 21, 2019 at 8:30 am CST Please enjoy another song I recorded sometime in the late 90s, maybe 1998. Of course I wrote all the lyrics and music and played all the instruments. Because that's what you do when you're me. I am surfing the lifestyle that I was shown. I am riding the aftershock, a tidal wave… A boy that you have grown. You have sown, you have stoned. Who else am I to blame? Dare I say the trouble lies in how I learned, how I was raised? How I was burned? How I was shamed? Didn’t go to Harvard or enroll at Yale. Wanted to grown up an astronaut instead I got… A jail cell. Was a dope slot, addicted to shots. Can’t think for myself. I’m not a boy. I can think for myself now. Inflated with the airs of rage. Every breath is one of hate. Mean jolly green giant of field of defiance. Stones for you. Burns for you. Shocks for you. And you. And you. And you. I’m not a boy. I can think for myself now. Now I...

-1 sSEP 21
Comments
jolly green.mp3

Not even the here and now

EContent published: Mar 3, 2017 at 12:30 pm CST · podcast published: Jun 21, 2019 at 10:30 am CST Time goes by and we move on and people come in and out of our lives and then we try hard to remember them when everything's quiet but the memories fade and we're only left with glimpses and fractures of what was and reminders that nothing is ever permanent, not even the here and now. Also: be somebody's hero today. #timeisirrelevant #diariespodcast Add a comment! View original

-1 sJUN 21
Comments
Not even the here and now

Whether alcoholism is an actual disease or not

EContent published: Mar 23, 2017 at 8:17 am CST · podcast published: May 25, 2019 at 12:30 pm CST I have back and forth feelings of whether alcoholism is an actual disease like hepatitis or something. I guess at the end of the day it doesn't matter to me, doesn't change that my soul was sick. Emotionally distraught to the point it was affecting everything from my sleeping to my shitting to my relationships with Maggie and my cats. You that know me personally know my story. Did you ever see Back to School with Rodney Dangerfield? It's from the mid 80s, light hearted, goofy, classic Dangerfield. There's a scene where he's arguing with his professor about selling widgets. Dangerfield gets hung up on what exactly a widget is and the professor exasperated finally says... It's a fictional product, it doesn't matter. That's a powerful train of thought for me. Sometimes I can get hung up on wanting to debate a topic and often it's because I'm wanting to deflect looking at my own issues. I r...

-1 sMAY 25
Comments
Whether alcoholism is an actual disease or not

diaries for 2018 - book now available

EContent published: Apr 29, 2019 at 2:00 pm CST · podcast published: Apr 29, 2019 at 2:00 pm CST After all my moaning my 2018 diaries book is now ready to be put in your shopping carts. If you have an unfulfilled diaries magazine subscription don’t buy the book. Your paperback will be in the mail soon. The ones available here on the site are autographed, too. Paperback and Kindle editions are available on Amazon, non-autographed of course. You should buy my book. And then tell your friends about it. And share it on social media, as you do. And then leave an Amazon review. I know that’s asking a lot but it would mean the world to me and I’d be eternally grateful. Sharing and reviews really do help. It’d be really cool if I could just do my writing (both spiritual and ridiculous) and earn a living doing such. As it is now, I do both when I have time. I hate making room for those things that are truly important. I just want to do those things that absolutely make truly my heart sin...

-1 sAPR 29
Comments
diaries for 2018 - book now available

If I'm feeling the same way

EContent published: Oct 17, 2018 at 7:35 pm CST · podcast published: Apr 19, 2019 at 10:00 am CST If I’m feeling the same way a few days later about something I need to make peace with it. Or not. It’s true that the only thing I have to do with my feelings is feel them but sometimes they linger. They don’t resolve. And then I have to do something. I need to take action. Often times that action is just accepting whatever happened that caused my unrest to begin with. If the situation involved another person, for example, how would I act around them if it didn’t happen at all? That’s how I accept things. It’s not hard once I decide that I want to move forward in life. Regardless of where my feelings are at. Acting differently than how I feel isn’t denying my feelings or pretending whatever didn’t happened. It’s me deciding that I’m done with all that and am going to move on even if my heart is telling me something else. It’s not usual when the only closure I get is accepting...

-1 sAPR 19
Comments
If I'm feeling the same way

Pillsbury's Candy Apple frosting

EContent published: Oct 14, 2018 at 10:09 am CST · podcast published: Apr 18, 2019 at 7:30 am CST Sometimes I’ll got out on a culinary limb. A daring yet delectable escapade, laying out loads of cash for adventurous taste combinations that send the conservatives repulsed to the bakeries of safety. For example, in this year of 2018, this month of October, I dropped Candy Apple frosting from Pillsbury into my basket, impromptu style while in the aisles of Blue Goose. A one-handed yet non-acrobatic feat that impressed shoppers clear yonder to the western deli department. Basket maneuvers aside, be aware impulsive and intrigued icing shoppers, concede to my financial frosting fiasco. This cake topping may look moist and delicious on the box but the taste and texture is more akin to sweet, fluffy lipstick. There may be a market for apple red lipstick for the baked cakes but I'm not included in it. One might ask how I know what lipstick tastes like. That would be a very good question to ...

-1 sAPR 18
Comments
Pillsbury's Candy Apple frosting
the END

Latest Episodes

Ice cream anxiety

EContent published: Nov 1, 2018 at 10:06 am CST · podcast published: Oct 27, 2019 at 10:30 am CST If we’re at a social gathering and it feels like I snub you that’s because I’m not a social butterfly. I’m more like a social moth. My wings are dusty. I check the doors to be sure they lock. I have debates with myself about what I'm supposed to do next. I have the social skills of a turtle. Just give me some lettuce. Large groups of people don’t necessarily make me nervous, just uncomfortable. I don’t like people sitting or standing behind me. I don’t like it to the point where I’ll change seats. If I can’t see everything I feel somewhat flustered. I like to keep an eye on things. That might sound cliche or overused or whatever but it’s because it’s a real thing that affects more people than it should. Talking one-on-one and sometimes one-on-two is fine. I've researched effective communication skills and social graces. One of the best things I learned was to ask other people...

-1 s2 w ago
Comments
Ice cream anxiety

I've lit my life on fire

EContent published: Jul 12, 2017 at 7:28 am CST · podcast published: Oct 14, 2019 at 7:30 am CST If you haven't heard this story, you're in luck. The first week or so I was sober I was sitting in a meeting and said, “I’ve lit my life on fire.” When I was drinking I wasn’t capable of caring because I was drunk and numb to my life burning. But being freshly sober I was like, “Oh my fucking god. My life is on fire.” I was freaking out, anxious all the time, having panic attacks... And I really, really didn't want my life to burn down. As I was talking during that meeting, I was looking around the room and most people were nodding because they, too, had set their lives on fire at one time or another. Knowing that others could relate to what I’d done and how I was feeling gave me some hope. It made me feel accepted, that I was in the right place. My whole life I’d waited to belong somewhere and now I finally had. On more than a superficial level. And that was all of Step Two’s ...

-1 sOCT 14
Comments
I've lit my life on fire

Back to regular life

EContent published: Apr 19, 2019 at 9:56 am CST · podcast published: Oct 6, 2019 at 3:30 pm CST Do you know what I really hate? When somebody is being over-the-top nice after they’ve fucked something up. Do you know what I really like? When someone offers up a sincere apology and then gets on with the day. Own it. Regret it. Forget it. Take five minutes, have a real conversation, and then go back to regular life. If I don’t acknowledge I can come across like an unsympathetic magician. Trying to trick you into paying attention to my magic rabbit and hat. All the while my other hand is holding a bloody knife. I’m not fooling anyone. And then if I’m dancing around like an out-of-the-ordinary, out-of-control ballerina with an obviously fabricated sugary song and dance, it only makes whatever transgression worse. It prolongs the distress. Elaine said to me seven years ago, “…and don't grovel.” I get “wanting to make it better” with flowers from up my sleeve and I’m sure I’ve t...

-1 sOCT 6
Comments
Back to regular life

The summer of 2019

EContent published: Sep 27, 2019 at 10:00 am CST · podcast published: Sep 27, 2019 at 10:00 am CST Peeps, it was a busy summer. Most of it was spent cleaning and packing up my house. That was a lot. I lived there for 11 years, the longest place I’d ever lived in my life. I threw away countless bags of trash, of life debris and clutter. ⛸ In June Sara and I went to see Ludovico at the Cadillac Palace in Chicago. Maggie and I went to Gay Pride in Aurora. Sara took all of us to Cantigny Park for my 47th birthday. We played mini golf in the dark during Swedish Days. In July there was the case of the stolen bicycle and Maggie turned 14. We went to Minneapolis to check out the Mall of America and Paisley Park. Maggie started high school in August, too. Five chipmunks were caught and released over the summer. I took over 450 photos. I didn’t keep track of how many restaurants that Sara and I went to. This month of September we went to Nebraska for Sara’s sister’s wedding. During the s...

-1 sSEP 27
Comments
The summer of 2019

jolly green.mp3

EContent published: Sep 21, 2019 at 8:30 am CST · podcast published: Sep 21, 2019 at 8:30 am CST Please enjoy another song I recorded sometime in the late 90s, maybe 1998. Of course I wrote all the lyrics and music and played all the instruments. Because that's what you do when you're me. I am surfing the lifestyle that I was shown. I am riding the aftershock, a tidal wave… A boy that you have grown. You have sown, you have stoned. Who else am I to blame? Dare I say the trouble lies in how I learned, how I was raised? How I was burned? How I was shamed? Didn’t go to Harvard or enroll at Yale. Wanted to grown up an astronaut instead I got… A jail cell. Was a dope slot, addicted to shots. Can’t think for myself. I’m not a boy. I can think for myself now. Inflated with the airs of rage. Every breath is one of hate. Mean jolly green giant of field of defiance. Stones for you. Burns for you. Shocks for you. And you. And you. And you. I’m not a boy. I can think for myself now. Now I...

-1 sSEP 21
Comments
jolly green.mp3

Not even the here and now

EContent published: Mar 3, 2017 at 12:30 pm CST · podcast published: Jun 21, 2019 at 10:30 am CST Time goes by and we move on and people come in and out of our lives and then we try hard to remember them when everything's quiet but the memories fade and we're only left with glimpses and fractures of what was and reminders that nothing is ever permanent, not even the here and now. Also: be somebody's hero today. #timeisirrelevant #diariespodcast Add a comment! View original

-1 sJUN 21
Comments
Not even the here and now

Whether alcoholism is an actual disease or not

EContent published: Mar 23, 2017 at 8:17 am CST · podcast published: May 25, 2019 at 12:30 pm CST I have back and forth feelings of whether alcoholism is an actual disease like hepatitis or something. I guess at the end of the day it doesn't matter to me, doesn't change that my soul was sick. Emotionally distraught to the point it was affecting everything from my sleeping to my shitting to my relationships with Maggie and my cats. You that know me personally know my story. Did you ever see Back to School with Rodney Dangerfield? It's from the mid 80s, light hearted, goofy, classic Dangerfield. There's a scene where he's arguing with his professor about selling widgets. Dangerfield gets hung up on what exactly a widget is and the professor exasperated finally says... It's a fictional product, it doesn't matter. That's a powerful train of thought for me. Sometimes I can get hung up on wanting to debate a topic and often it's because I'm wanting to deflect looking at my own issues. I r...

-1 sMAY 25
Comments
Whether alcoholism is an actual disease or not

diaries for 2018 - book now available

EContent published: Apr 29, 2019 at 2:00 pm CST · podcast published: Apr 29, 2019 at 2:00 pm CST After all my moaning my 2018 diaries book is now ready to be put in your shopping carts. If you have an unfulfilled diaries magazine subscription don’t buy the book. Your paperback will be in the mail soon. The ones available here on the site are autographed, too. Paperback and Kindle editions are available on Amazon, non-autographed of course. You should buy my book. And then tell your friends about it. And share it on social media, as you do. And then leave an Amazon review. I know that’s asking a lot but it would mean the world to me and I’d be eternally grateful. Sharing and reviews really do help. It’d be really cool if I could just do my writing (both spiritual and ridiculous) and earn a living doing such. As it is now, I do both when I have time. I hate making room for those things that are truly important. I just want to do those things that absolutely make truly my heart sin...

-1 sAPR 29
Comments
diaries for 2018 - book now available

If I'm feeling the same way

EContent published: Oct 17, 2018 at 7:35 pm CST · podcast published: Apr 19, 2019 at 10:00 am CST If I’m feeling the same way a few days later about something I need to make peace with it. Or not. It’s true that the only thing I have to do with my feelings is feel them but sometimes they linger. They don’t resolve. And then I have to do something. I need to take action. Often times that action is just accepting whatever happened that caused my unrest to begin with. If the situation involved another person, for example, how would I act around them if it didn’t happen at all? That’s how I accept things. It’s not hard once I decide that I want to move forward in life. Regardless of where my feelings are at. Acting differently than how I feel isn’t denying my feelings or pretending whatever didn’t happened. It’s me deciding that I’m done with all that and am going to move on even if my heart is telling me something else. It’s not usual when the only closure I get is accepting...

-1 sAPR 19
Comments
If I'm feeling the same way

Pillsbury's Candy Apple frosting

EContent published: Oct 14, 2018 at 10:09 am CST · podcast published: Apr 18, 2019 at 7:30 am CST Sometimes I’ll got out on a culinary limb. A daring yet delectable escapade, laying out loads of cash for adventurous taste combinations that send the conservatives repulsed to the bakeries of safety. For example, in this year of 2018, this month of October, I dropped Candy Apple frosting from Pillsbury into my basket, impromptu style while in the aisles of Blue Goose. A one-handed yet non-acrobatic feat that impressed shoppers clear yonder to the western deli department. Basket maneuvers aside, be aware impulsive and intrigued icing shoppers, concede to my financial frosting fiasco. This cake topping may look moist and delicious on the box but the taste and texture is more akin to sweet, fluffy lipstick. There may be a market for apple red lipstick for the baked cakes but I'm not included in it. One might ask how I know what lipstick tastes like. That would be a very good question to ...

-1 sAPR 18
Comments
Pillsbury's Candy Apple frosting
the END
hmly
himalayaプレミアムへようこそ聴き放題のオーディオブックをお楽しみください。