What the f&#* is that smell??

On an otherwise unexceptional Tuesday in 2042, Gated Galaxies fired off 400 of its Oz 8000 ships, each with 50,000“resting guests” tucked into stasis pods, plus a skeleton crew of up to half-a-dozen total no-hopers. This is the story of one of those ships, the Oz 9, and the utterly futile attempts of its crew to fulfill its stated mission: to deliver the passengers safely to their new, terraformed planet.

I had a cake all to meself

Still smoking from the launch pad, our band of space explorers can't quite get a grip on this whole "survival" idea. So I wouldn't get too attached to them.

Great heaving chesticles

Have you ever thrown the last of your milkshake out the car window, only to have it splat on the windshield of the car behind you? OK, imagine doing that with liquified human remains, in space, where there are no windshield wipers. Or gas stations with handy squeegee things. What happens next? You might get a really irritated comms call from the next ship in line, who are, incidentally, also about to hit you.

Space is great for sulking

Episode four in which Olivia gasses the crew, Leet's symmetry is imperiled, and the janitor and the AI debate the relative value of the tooth fairy. Starring Richard Cowen as Leet Bonnie Brantley as Jessie Tim Sherburn as Colin Eric Perry as Joe and Richard Nadolny as the Narrator Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry, who also plays Madeline and Olivia Our theme music and other incidental music was written and performed by John Faley.

There's a zombie in the corridor

Heave a sigh of relief: Leet’s symmetry has been restored. Might suggest you breathe through your mouth, though, as there’s a rapidly decomposing dead person in the corridor. Messing up Joe’s clean floors. Seriously, zombies are why we can’t have nice things. Not clear on the Cumberbatch/penguin reference?https://youtu.be/9GHPNKUMf70?t=200

Dark and starting to collect liquid

In which... Leet reveals a certain fascination with some heavenly orbs... More pods go squelchy... We discover how the crews of the Oz fleet were assembled, and ... The narrator reveals a Very Big Secret.

The biggest bunch of mindless wankers

In which Leet is accosted by someone (or thing) and bunged into airlock 7, Olivia gets tetchy about Leet's imminent demise, There's an enormous amount of bickering, and We discover the limits of that whole "two heads better than one" nonsense.

Things that go stupid in the night

It's "night" on the Oz 9, and the crew is literally and figuratively stumbling around in the dark. Back on earth a cub reporter and a private dick are hot on Mr. Southers' heels, asking the sorts of questions that might get them an invitation to sleep with the fishes.

Mind the gap

In which: Colin makes a sausage-scented discovery, Rock and Donna talk murder, we learn about automatic chopsticks, and Olivia confesses that she might not be … all there.

Fixing the Ejaculax

Will Madeline and Joe be able to fix the copulatron and attach it to the forniculator before they realize neither of these things actually exists? Is Leet doomed to spend most of his journey inside a healer pod? Are there any sensible podcasts looking for a reliable, experienced narrator? And no, I'm not "asking for a friend. Welcome to Episode 10 of Oz 9, Fixing the Ejaculax.