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SHATTERPROOF Thriving After Domestic Abuse

Mickie Zada

4
Followers
6
Plays
SHATTERPROOF Thriving After Domestic Abuse

SHATTERPROOF Thriving After Domestic Abuse

Mickie Zada

4
Followers
6
Plays
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About Us

I’m Mickie Zada and I lived in abuse…for 34 years…from age 19 until I was 53. I believe we create our realities, and I chose to stay in a damaging relationship for so long because I thought it was my Calling. I was wrong.I changed me. I am now an enthusiastic participant in Life. “The words ‘I am’ are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you’re claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you.” A.L. KitselmanI am a strong woman, a fabulous woman, over 60 years old. I am a Change-agent. I am an encourager. I am uniquely qualified to speak to living in abuse, getting out and surviving to the fullest extent. I know what it takes. I know the fear. I am a survivor.I am a coach.I am happy to have these “I Am” words to reach back and claim me!The actions I teach and share are those that I’ve learned in my Journey from choosing to live in abuse to choosing to create my authentic life; safe, sound, Real.I invite you to read through this web page. Think about who I Am. Read blogs, listen to some podcasts, watch live videos. Do we connect?I am open and exposed. Choose to reach out to me or not.What I know for sure is that I lived the life of abuse, and got out, and I’ve thrived, to serve as a beacon to other women.If you live in abuse, or you’ve recently escaped, it’s my Mission to support and encourage you to choose and live a healthy life.The materials, the tools, the support is here.It’s your responsibility to grab hold and change yourself, from the in-side out.Stories of women who have reinvented themselves for the second half of their lives. You hear where they have come from, what inspired their transformations and you can follow their path to having the life you really want. Figuring It Out After 50 is about taking your life from where you were to WHO you ARE!

Latest Episodes

Ending SHATTERPROOF Thriving After Domestic Abuse Podcast

This podcast episode is about business. Specifically, My Business. And the fact that it’s not working. Warren Buffet is the third richest person in the world…he has owned and started businesses that have not worked. Here is one of my favorite Warren Buffet quotes: “In a chronically leaking boat, energy devoted to changing vessels is more productive than energy devoted to patching leaks.”– Warren Buffett You know that I have changed my mind, changed my life, changed my name, changed my business and its name. You know that my foundational belief is “If we don’t change, nothing changes.” I have hung on for several years in a chronically leaking boat. I’ve tried several stints of patching leaks to keep from sinking. Changing vessels is more productive for me now than patching leaks. I always considered the podcast, live videos, and articles to be my passion and a business. The business part was coaching and creating paid classes and groups to support, inspire, and educate women...

7 min2019 MAY 29
Comments
Ending SHATTERPROOF Thriving After Domestic Abuse Podcast

I Created A New Stronger Me! Jitka Bernardova

My guest today is Jitka Bernardova. Jitka grew up in the Czech Republic behind the Iron Curtain. Despite the confines of living in communism with very controlling parents, she was a very happy and active child. Her parents were very strict and she didn’t feel loved enough, so she was constantly seeking love from babies and animals. Jitka loved to play outside and take care of all the neighbors’ kids on the street. She was so blinded by looking for love that she didn’t see the problems she was taking on when she married an alcoholic man at the age of 18. His drinking got better and then it got worse…then it got better, and then it got much worse. Jitka discovered it was not ONLY drinking that he was doing. He was also cheating on her: Cheating with her friends! To make matters worse, everyone knew (even her parents) and no one told her. That was emotionally devastating and it was the catalyst to motivate her to know she couldn’t live like that anymore. Jitka divorced her husband...

28 min2019 MAY 22
Comments
I Created A New Stronger Me! Jitka Bernardova

You May Be the Exact Inspiration Another Woman Needs with Mickie Zada

You never know the influence you have on someone’s life. As you deal with your reality, feeling like you are drowning in emotions and responsibility, someone else’s view of you is that of inspiration, strength, and success. My cousin died last week. She was a favorite cousin, my big sister by proxy. She was the one I ran to when I left my abuser for the very first time. At that time, she was recently divorced, had emotional and financial responsibility for two young sons; she was a full-time Master’s Program student and worked full time. Her life was on overload. I’m sure she felt like she was at the end of her rope. Then I showed up. In crisis. To me, she was a savior. A strong woman in charge of her life, moving forward on her dreams, dealing with responsibilities, and creating a safe, healthy life for herself and her sons. No matter how shattered your life may feel to you, to someone else you may be the exact inspiration another woman needs. That’s what my cousin was for me.

8 min2019 MAY 15
Comments
You May Be the Exact Inspiration Another Woman Needs with Mickie Zada

You're Not Crazy; You Were Abused

People often see the victim of narcissistic abuse as “crazy” and full of fear and doubt. The narcissist shows up cool, calm and collected. Right? Why is that? Because the narcissist has the ability to make their victims responsible for any and every negative thing. Even things they make up…using our words! They convince us we are crazy. They convince us we are the abusers! They separate realities and stay calm, while the light us on fire. You are not, and were not, crazy. You were abused. Now it’s our choice to change our perspective, to accept that building our own safe, happy and authentic live is OUR responsibility. The abuse was real. We did not deserve it. We did not ask for it or enjoy it. Now it’s our choice to use that experience to grow, and to help ourselves and others heal.

12 min2019 MAY 1
Comments
You're Not Crazy; You Were Abused

Childhood Violence and Emotional Domestic Abuse did not Deter this Dynamic Author with Laurel Anne Hill

Laurel Anne Hill grew up in San Francisco, with more dreams of an adventure than good sense or money. Her close brushes with death, love of family, respect for honor and belief in a higher power influence her writing and life. Her early home life included a happy-drunk Grandfather and a mean-drunk Dad: So mean and violent that she, her Mother, Grandmother, and brother often hid in the basement to escape his wrath. This life pattern, of course, set the stage for the first marriage to an abuser. It also created fertile ground in her mind to create heroic female characters and alternate Universes. At the age of 5, before she could read or write, she dictated stories to her older sister and used paper cut-outs as an illustration! Her journey through childhood violence and domestic emotional abuse led Laurel Anne to become a strong, creative, talented and honored author. Laurel Anne’s best-selling book, The Engine Woman’s Light, has won prestigious awards in the category of steampunk…...

33 min2019 APR 24
Comments
Childhood Violence and Emotional Domestic Abuse did not Deter this Dynamic Author with Laurel Anne Hill

Lessons in Life and Love with Riana Milne

It was the lies and emotional abuse that lead my guest to research and discover that BOTH her Exs had extreme childhood trauma. She said “This fact was something NOT taught in a triple Masters program in Psychology!” After 2 years of research, she discovered childhood trauma leads to emotional abuse and that made total sense, for her healing and the healing of her psychotherapy and coaching clients as well. My guest is Riana Milne. She is a certified, Global Life, Dating & Relationship Coach, a #1 best selling author, and podcast host. Because so many women want to know WHY things went so bad when they were great in the beginning, Riana has developed, and she presents for us, the TEN TRAUMAS that are experienced during childhood that affect an adult later in life and in their love relationships. Riana also offers 3 free gifts to listeners of SHATTERPROOF Thriving After Domestic Abuse podcast. All are available on her website – www.RianaMilne.com 1) Free Life & Love Transformation...

27 min2019 APR 17
Comments
Lessons in Life and Love with Riana Milne

God Must See So Much Strength in Me

Her abusive marriage mirrored a made-for-TV movie. Then she decided that God must see so much strength in her; she shifted her focus from victim to thriver. Kim Lyons describes domestic abuse as emotional terrorism and says what we all know to be true: If you haven’t lived it, you just don’t get it! Thrivers are a sorority of sisterhood. (Not a sorority in which we want to be Members, but in a sisterhood of support, encouragement, and inspiration.) Now Kim works with people who want to harness their full power in life, with no limits! Reach out to Kim and learn more about her on FaceBook at https://www.facebook.com/platinumkimmie https://www.facebook.com/groups/hardcorebodybuildersfitnessfreaks/ or on Linked in at https://www.linkedin.com/in/strengthcoachkimmie/ "​"If you're working hard but not accomplishing your goal, you don't change the goal, you change the strategy!"​ ~Kim Lyons

26 min2019 APR 10
Comments
God Must See So Much Strength in Me

There is Always an Upside

Many of us can relate to Rena Romano’s statement that for many years, on the outside her life looked perfect. She was a successful business woman, friends were envious, her Mother was proud. On the inside she was dying, a broken soul. Harboring a horrific secret since childhood, no one knew the pain she was suffering. Then she chose to become a Thriver: she created and embraced her truth that there is always an upside no matter what you’ve been through. In October 2009 Rena was a featured guest on the Oprah Winfrey Show where she shared her long-kept secret of childhood sexual abuse. She also is a TEDx speaker. Her TEDx talk is titled “Healing Sexual Abuse can start with one word.” You can watch her TEDx talk on YouTube. Learn more about Rena Romano and her program, The THRIVE Perspective, listen to her podcast and order her books, at www.RenaRomano.com

31 min2019 APR 3
Comments
There is Always an Upside

How Foolish I was – I Thought He Was Perfect Christine Cristina

Raise your hand if you have you said this about your abuser: “How foolish I was. I thought he was perfect.”? My hand is up! Christine Cristina shares her story of shocking awareness of being undermined by a narcissist. She sold her home and her business because he encouraged her to live the life he had created. They decided to build a new home. She chose to travel with him, to spend a lot of time on his boat, to give up her own life to embrace his. She was 60 years old. She had never been married. Her gorgeous gown was purchased and fitted. Wedding invitations were in the mail. Then, he called to say he was breaking up with her. She was not the woman he thought she was. (!!!!) Her life unraveled. She spent four months on the floor crying. She was suicidal. She was Shattered. Christine is a thriver. With support from friends and through her faith, she became Unstoppable, Unlimited, Unsinkable. Shatterproof. Read more details about her unique experience in her book When Life Unravel...

25 min2019 MAR 27
Comments
How Foolish I was – I Thought He Was Perfect Christine Cristina

YEA! I Finally Got 50/50 Custody of My Daughter!

A 90-day temporary order took two years to resolve…YEA! I finally got 50/50 custody of my daughter! This conversation is not to discourage anyone. It is to validate that right can eventually prevail, even in custody cases with abusive Dads. Amber went to court without an attorney and everything her abuser and his attorney told the Judge was believed. Her abuser was given full custody of their daughter, then and there. The lies he told were that she was addicted to drugs and alcohol. She was ordered to attend AA meetings. He said he did not rape her; she liked rough sex. She was ordered to seek sex therapy. He and his lawyer convinced the court that she lived in her car. She lived with friends. She was encouraged to sign a 90-day temporary order, giving her abuser full custody of their daughter. She was convinced it was the right thing to do. Finally, after many court appearances, finally hiring an attorney who believed her, and two years of supervised visits with her daughter, Ambe...

20 min2019 MAR 20
Comments
YEA! I Finally Got 50/50 Custody of My Daughter!

Latest Episodes

Ending SHATTERPROOF Thriving After Domestic Abuse Podcast

This podcast episode is about business. Specifically, My Business. And the fact that it’s not working. Warren Buffet is the third richest person in the world…he has owned and started businesses that have not worked. Here is one of my favorite Warren Buffet quotes: “In a chronically leaking boat, energy devoted to changing vessels is more productive than energy devoted to patching leaks.”– Warren Buffett You know that I have changed my mind, changed my life, changed my name, changed my business and its name. You know that my foundational belief is “If we don’t change, nothing changes.” I have hung on for several years in a chronically leaking boat. I’ve tried several stints of patching leaks to keep from sinking. Changing vessels is more productive for me now than patching leaks. I always considered the podcast, live videos, and articles to be my passion and a business. The business part was coaching and creating paid classes and groups to support, inspire, and educate women...

7 min2019 MAY 29
Comments
Ending SHATTERPROOF Thriving After Domestic Abuse Podcast

I Created A New Stronger Me! Jitka Bernardova

My guest today is Jitka Bernardova. Jitka grew up in the Czech Republic behind the Iron Curtain. Despite the confines of living in communism with very controlling parents, she was a very happy and active child. Her parents were very strict and she didn’t feel loved enough, so she was constantly seeking love from babies and animals. Jitka loved to play outside and take care of all the neighbors’ kids on the street. She was so blinded by looking for love that she didn’t see the problems she was taking on when she married an alcoholic man at the age of 18. His drinking got better and then it got worse…then it got better, and then it got much worse. Jitka discovered it was not ONLY drinking that he was doing. He was also cheating on her: Cheating with her friends! To make matters worse, everyone knew (even her parents) and no one told her. That was emotionally devastating and it was the catalyst to motivate her to know she couldn’t live like that anymore. Jitka divorced her husband...

28 min2019 MAY 22
Comments
I Created A New Stronger Me! Jitka Bernardova

You May Be the Exact Inspiration Another Woman Needs with Mickie Zada

You never know the influence you have on someone’s life. As you deal with your reality, feeling like you are drowning in emotions and responsibility, someone else’s view of you is that of inspiration, strength, and success. My cousin died last week. She was a favorite cousin, my big sister by proxy. She was the one I ran to when I left my abuser for the very first time. At that time, she was recently divorced, had emotional and financial responsibility for two young sons; she was a full-time Master’s Program student and worked full time. Her life was on overload. I’m sure she felt like she was at the end of her rope. Then I showed up. In crisis. To me, she was a savior. A strong woman in charge of her life, moving forward on her dreams, dealing with responsibilities, and creating a safe, healthy life for herself and her sons. No matter how shattered your life may feel to you, to someone else you may be the exact inspiration another woman needs. That’s what my cousin was for me.

8 min2019 MAY 15
Comments
You May Be the Exact Inspiration Another Woman Needs with Mickie Zada

You're Not Crazy; You Were Abused

People often see the victim of narcissistic abuse as “crazy” and full of fear and doubt. The narcissist shows up cool, calm and collected. Right? Why is that? Because the narcissist has the ability to make their victims responsible for any and every negative thing. Even things they make up…using our words! They convince us we are crazy. They convince us we are the abusers! They separate realities and stay calm, while the light us on fire. You are not, and were not, crazy. You were abused. Now it’s our choice to change our perspective, to accept that building our own safe, happy and authentic live is OUR responsibility. The abuse was real. We did not deserve it. We did not ask for it or enjoy it. Now it’s our choice to use that experience to grow, and to help ourselves and others heal.

12 min2019 MAY 1
Comments
You're Not Crazy; You Were Abused

Childhood Violence and Emotional Domestic Abuse did not Deter this Dynamic Author with Laurel Anne Hill

Laurel Anne Hill grew up in San Francisco, with more dreams of an adventure than good sense or money. Her close brushes with death, love of family, respect for honor and belief in a higher power influence her writing and life. Her early home life included a happy-drunk Grandfather and a mean-drunk Dad: So mean and violent that she, her Mother, Grandmother, and brother often hid in the basement to escape his wrath. This life pattern, of course, set the stage for the first marriage to an abuser. It also created fertile ground in her mind to create heroic female characters and alternate Universes. At the age of 5, before she could read or write, she dictated stories to her older sister and used paper cut-outs as an illustration! Her journey through childhood violence and domestic emotional abuse led Laurel Anne to become a strong, creative, talented and honored author. Laurel Anne’s best-selling book, The Engine Woman’s Light, has won prestigious awards in the category of steampunk…...

33 min2019 APR 24
Comments
Childhood Violence and Emotional Domestic Abuse did not Deter this Dynamic Author with Laurel Anne Hill

Lessons in Life and Love with Riana Milne

It was the lies and emotional abuse that lead my guest to research and discover that BOTH her Exs had extreme childhood trauma. She said “This fact was something NOT taught in a triple Masters program in Psychology!” After 2 years of research, she discovered childhood trauma leads to emotional abuse and that made total sense, for her healing and the healing of her psychotherapy and coaching clients as well. My guest is Riana Milne. She is a certified, Global Life, Dating & Relationship Coach, a #1 best selling author, and podcast host. Because so many women want to know WHY things went so bad when they were great in the beginning, Riana has developed, and she presents for us, the TEN TRAUMAS that are experienced during childhood that affect an adult later in life and in their love relationships. Riana also offers 3 free gifts to listeners of SHATTERPROOF Thriving After Domestic Abuse podcast. All are available on her website – www.RianaMilne.com 1) Free Life & Love Transformation...

27 min2019 APR 17
Comments
Lessons in Life and Love with Riana Milne

God Must See So Much Strength in Me

Her abusive marriage mirrored a made-for-TV movie. Then she decided that God must see so much strength in her; she shifted her focus from victim to thriver. Kim Lyons describes domestic abuse as emotional terrorism and says what we all know to be true: If you haven’t lived it, you just don’t get it! Thrivers are a sorority of sisterhood. (Not a sorority in which we want to be Members, but in a sisterhood of support, encouragement, and inspiration.) Now Kim works with people who want to harness their full power in life, with no limits! Reach out to Kim and learn more about her on FaceBook at https://www.facebook.com/platinumkimmie https://www.facebook.com/groups/hardcorebodybuildersfitnessfreaks/ or on Linked in at https://www.linkedin.com/in/strengthcoachkimmie/ "​"If you're working hard but not accomplishing your goal, you don't change the goal, you change the strategy!"​ ~Kim Lyons

26 min2019 APR 10
Comments
God Must See So Much Strength in Me

There is Always an Upside

Many of us can relate to Rena Romano’s statement that for many years, on the outside her life looked perfect. She was a successful business woman, friends were envious, her Mother was proud. On the inside she was dying, a broken soul. Harboring a horrific secret since childhood, no one knew the pain she was suffering. Then she chose to become a Thriver: she created and embraced her truth that there is always an upside no matter what you’ve been through. In October 2009 Rena was a featured guest on the Oprah Winfrey Show where she shared her long-kept secret of childhood sexual abuse. She also is a TEDx speaker. Her TEDx talk is titled “Healing Sexual Abuse can start with one word.” You can watch her TEDx talk on YouTube. Learn more about Rena Romano and her program, The THRIVE Perspective, listen to her podcast and order her books, at www.RenaRomano.com

31 min2019 APR 3
Comments
There is Always an Upside

How Foolish I was – I Thought He Was Perfect Christine Cristina

Raise your hand if you have you said this about your abuser: “How foolish I was. I thought he was perfect.”? My hand is up! Christine Cristina shares her story of shocking awareness of being undermined by a narcissist. She sold her home and her business because he encouraged her to live the life he had created. They decided to build a new home. She chose to travel with him, to spend a lot of time on his boat, to give up her own life to embrace his. She was 60 years old. She had never been married. Her gorgeous gown was purchased and fitted. Wedding invitations were in the mail. Then, he called to say he was breaking up with her. She was not the woman he thought she was. (!!!!) Her life unraveled. She spent four months on the floor crying. She was suicidal. She was Shattered. Christine is a thriver. With support from friends and through her faith, she became Unstoppable, Unlimited, Unsinkable. Shatterproof. Read more details about her unique experience in her book When Life Unravel...

25 min2019 MAR 27
Comments
How Foolish I was – I Thought He Was Perfect Christine Cristina

YEA! I Finally Got 50/50 Custody of My Daughter!

A 90-day temporary order took two years to resolve…YEA! I finally got 50/50 custody of my daughter! This conversation is not to discourage anyone. It is to validate that right can eventually prevail, even in custody cases with abusive Dads. Amber went to court without an attorney and everything her abuser and his attorney told the Judge was believed. Her abuser was given full custody of their daughter, then and there. The lies he told were that she was addicted to drugs and alcohol. She was ordered to attend AA meetings. He said he did not rape her; she liked rough sex. She was ordered to seek sex therapy. He and his lawyer convinced the court that she lived in her car. She lived with friends. She was encouraged to sign a 90-day temporary order, giving her abuser full custody of their daughter. She was convinced it was the right thing to do. Finally, after many court appearances, finally hiring an attorney who believed her, and two years of supervised visits with her daughter, Ambe...

20 min2019 MAR 20
Comments
YEA! I Finally Got 50/50 Custody of My Daughter!
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