Himalaya: Listen. Learn. Grow.
Your Next Chapter - Business & Life Beyond 40
In this episode, we explore how you might be self-sabotaging yourself by asking the wrong questions.
Your brain is a meaning-seeking machine and so when you pose questions, it will happily supply answers to you. If the questions you ask create disempowering answers, they become roadblocks that can keep you stuck in discontent and results that are far from delightful!
Once you recognise this tendency, you can change it, asking better quality questions that are expansive and supportive and help you to move around self-sabotage and into growth.
The first step towards asking better questions is to recognise that you have a result in your business and life that is not what you desire. This self-awareness opens the door to change.
Underneath the result is a behaviour, and that action, of lack of action, is created by your feelings. The questions you ask yourself can be empowering and expansive, leading to positive feelings and actions or they can be disempowering and reductive, creating roadblocks that you may not even be aware of.
Debbie Ford summed this up perfectly - "Questions supply you with the wisdom you need to make what was previously unconscious, conscious so that you can choose with all the power that comes from being fully aware."
If you've recognised the need for change, let''s start with the conversations you have with yourself! Try flipping your questions:
- "Why is this so hard" becomes "How can I make this easier?"
- "Why can't I work this out" becomes "What do I need to be able to tackle this?"
- "Why can't I show up consistently online" becomes "How can I make showing up online more enjoyable for me?"
Now that you're opening up to more positive questions and answers, make and commit to the decision to change and then take a single action today in the new direction to get the ball rolling.
The key example in today's episode focused on my client who wants to be more visible online for her business growth, but there is an endless selection of possibilities that you can develop better questions, and choices, for.
I love the ten questions that Debbie Ford poses, and here they are for you:
- Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future or will it keep me stuck in the past?
- Will this choice bring me long-term fulfilment or will it bring me short-term gratification?
- Am I standing in my power or am I trying to please another?
- Am I looking for what’s right or am I looking for what’s wrong?
- Will this choice add to my life force or will it rob me of my energy?
- Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow and evolve or will I use it to beat myself up?
- Does this choice empower me or does it disempower me?
- Is this an act of self-love or is it an act of self-sabotage?
- Is this an act of faith or is it an act of fear?
- Am I choosing from my divinity or am I choosing from my humanity?
The discussion continues in the Your Next Chapter Community - come and join us!