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Peace at Last!

Fabrice Nye

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Peace at Last!

Peace at Last!

Fabrice Nye

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About Us

This podcast interprets the latest scientific discoveries in psychology, as well as techniques and principles from ancient spiritual traditions, and gives you tools to put them into practice.

Latest Episodes

009: Three Little Words That Can Mess up Your Life (Part 1) — Should

Are you “shoulding” all over yourself? The word “Should” happens to be one of the most insidious in the English language. In today’s episode, we talk about how: Psychoanalyst Karen Horney called “The Tyranny of the Should” this tendency to create an idealized self and a rejection of the real self. Albert Ellis spoke about the three kinds of “musts.” Using the word “should” is conveying criticism, like “scolding” oneself (or others). The value statements implied by that word are arbitrary and relative. The laws of Nature do not follow any “should,” but instead are what they are, and we don’t get a vote. Practice Rephrasing — replacing “should” with “is” or “does” or “I would prefer it if…” Reattribution — considering the alternative causes of events and behaviors. Positive Reframing — acknowledging that Should Statements come out of a very good place in you, that they reflect positive attributes and values, and that there is a helpful side to holding those beliefs. See Also , by Karen Horney , by Albert Ellis , the Online Etymology Dictionary

14 minJUL 4
Comments
009: Three Little Words That Can Mess up Your Life (Part 1) — Should

008: There Are Only Three Kinds of Business

Byron Katie likes to say that there are only three kinds of business in the world: mine, yours, and God’s. God’s business refers to the forces of Nature or to events that are beyond human control. Your business, is someone else’s life, including what they feel, think, and choose to do. My business is what’s left, that is, what is within my control. In his popular book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey describes the notion of Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence. We add here the Circle of Control, where Circle of Control = What I choose to do and can directly manipulate. Circle of Influence = What is not directly within my control, but can be affected by what I do. Circle of Concern = What I mentally worry about, whether or not I can do anything about it.

20 minJUN 11
Comments
008: There Are Only Three Kinds of Business

007: What Is Enlightenment?

We’re taking a left turn, today, from cognitive theory, and we are going to talk about spirituality and the place it occupies on the path to peace. I refer to Sam Harris’s book,Waking Up, and I quote from an episode of his podcast,Making Sense. The bookAshrams, by Arnaud Desjardins, is probably out of print. So isSpiritual Awakening, by Ram Dass. See Also - A Mind at Home With Itself, by Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell - Tao Te Ching, by Lao Tsu, translation by Stephen Mitchell - Ego, by Alan Watts - The Perennial Philosophy, by Aldous Huxley - The Brain’s Default Mode Network(2015), by Marcus Raichle.Annual Review of Neuroscience,38(1), 433–447. - Why Buddhism Is True, by Robert Wright

27 minAPR 15
Comments
007: What Is Enlightenment?

Bonus Episode — Social Distancing

If you are in the same situation as me, you are mostly staying home with the members of your household, except for necessary outings like getting food, gas, or just getting a breath of fresh air. Many of you may also be working from home, as I am. As a result, you may be feeling rather isolated. And that’s where I wanted to make my point. Had this virus hit 25 years ago, we wouldn’t have had all the technology to connect with each other like we do now. We only had telephone and maybe email for some. Now, we can see each other on a big screen TV and talk to friends and relatives who live on the other side of the globe. That’s pretty much what I have been doing during these past couple of weeks. My cousins and sisters live in Europe and elsewhere. We created this chat group on WhatsApp, last year, and we had been using it to keep each other up to date. But now that we’re all stuck at home, we have been ramping it up, sharing silly videos of ourselves, singing out of tune and doing...

5 minMAR 25
Comments
Bonus Episode — Social Distancing

006: Thinking Traps (Part 3) — Personalization

The next 4 Thinking Traps are grouped under the categoryPersonalization. We commit these distortions when we cannot step outside of our own egocentric perspective. Thinking Traps: Personalization Personalization (Me,Self-Blame) Helplessness Blame (Them,Other-Blame) Always Being Right Emotional Reasoning (Naïve Realism, Affective Realism) Should(Should Statement, “Musturbation”) Perfectionism Comparison Fallacy of Fairness Antidotes Reattribution Acceptance Paradox Semantic Method

24 minMAR 13
Comments
006: Thinking Traps (Part 3) — Personalization

005: Thinking Traps (Part 2) — Arbitrary Inferences

The next 4 Thinking Traps I am going to talk about are grouped under the categoryArbitrary Inferences. They consist of making interpretations without having examined all the data. Thinking Traps: Arbitrary Inferences Jumping to Conclusions(also:Inference-Observation Confusion); Fortune Telling; Mind Reading; Labeling(also:Mislabeling) Antidotes Examine the Evidence Consider Alternate Possibilities Keep a “Don’t-Know” Mind Survey Technique Let’s Define Terms

16 minMAR 6
Comments
005: Thinking Traps (Part 2) — Arbitrary Inferences

004: Thinking Traps (Part 1) — Thinking in Extremes

We’re looking here at the most common Thinking Traps, especially the ones that cause mental distress. Cognitive Distortions vs. Cognitive Biases The difference between Thinking Traps (Cognitive Distortions) and Thinking Errors (Cognitive Biases) is that Thinking Traps result in difficult emotions, in mental distress, and in psychopathology. Cognitive Biases are more broadly related to an inaccurate perception of reality. Some examples of Cognitive Biases are the Availability Heuristic, the Empathy Gap, Anchoring. Thinking Traps: Thinking in Extremes 1. Black-and-White Thinking (also: Polarized Thinking, All-or-Nothing Thinking, Splitting, Dichotomous Reasoning); 2. Overgeneralization; 3. Mental Filter (also: Filtering, Selective Abstraction); 4. Discounting the Positive (also: Disqualifying the Positive); and, 5. Magnification (also: Awfulizing, Catastrophizing) Antidotes 1. Thinking in Shades of Gray 2. Examine the Evidence 3. Externalization of Voices 4. Double-Standard Technique...

28 minFEB 27
Comments
004: Thinking Traps (Part 1) — Thinking in Extremes

003: Emotions Are Constructed

Let’s talk about emotions, today. Notice that I normally tend to use the word “emotions,” rather than the word “feelings.” The word “feeling” often tends to be ambiguous. When I used to ask untrained clients a question like “What are you feeling?” they would invariably answer in a sentence that started with, “Well, I feel like …”. It could be things like “I feel like I’m going to die,” “I feel like he’s judging me,” “I feel like I’m letting them down,” “I feel like something bad is going to happen,” etc. Those are not what I call “feeling words,” but judgments. The Classical View of Emotions Theclassical view of emotion, is the concept that we have evolved specific emotion circuits deep within our brains, and that they produce and encode a set of very basic emotions that have the same fingerprint in any human, and perhaps even in other mammals. When specific stimuli occurring in the world, these circuits will get triggered and produce the appropriate change ...

32 minFEB 20
Comments
003: Emotions Are Constructed

002: Core Limiting Beliefs

There is a hierarchy in our negative thoughts:Automatic Thoughts,Conditional Assumptions(orRules), andCore Beliefs(or Core Limiting Beliefs). Those form the foundation of our identity. They are the central beliefs that we maintain about ourselves, others and the world. We have mentioned this hierarchy in the previous episode. In this episode, we explore more closely how to uncover the Core Beliefs, especially Core Limiting Beliefs about ourselves. These belong in two domains:competencyanddesirability. Examples of Core Beliefs that reflectincompetencyare: I am incompetent I am a failure I am weak I am not good enough I am inferior I am dumb Examples of Core Beliefs that reflectundesirabilityare: I am undesirable I am unattractive I am unlovable I am unlikable I am bad I am worthless You can think of Core Beliefs as a pair of sunglasses. We may forget that we’re wearing them on our nose, but they still color the way we see the world: Practice In the handout, you’ll find a sample lis...

14 minFEB 13
Comments
002: Core Limiting Beliefs

001: We Feel the Way We Think

In this first episode of the podcast, I talk about how our thoughts influence our emotions. This principle was discovered—or rediscovered—by American psychologists and pioneers of the cognitive model, Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck. They were drawing on ancient wisdom, such as that of Greek philosopher Epictetus, who wrote in his philosophical manual, the Enchiridion: “What disturbs men’s minds is not events but theirjudgementson events” (Epictetus, The Enchiridion, c. 135 A.D.) Going back even further, Buddhism’s sacred scripture, the Dhammapada, start with these words: “All that we are is the result of what we have thought: it is founded on our thoughts; it is made up of our thoughts.” Opening lines of the Dhammapada (c. 500 B.C.E., trans. F. Max Müller) Today, cognitive-behavior therapy posits that: We feel the way we think When we feel depressed/angry/anxious, the thoughts that create those difficult emotions are distorted You can change the way the way you feel by changin...

21 minFEB 5
Comments
001: We Feel the Way We Think

Latest Episodes

009: Three Little Words That Can Mess up Your Life (Part 1) — Should

Are you “shoulding” all over yourself? The word “Should” happens to be one of the most insidious in the English language. In today’s episode, we talk about how: Psychoanalyst Karen Horney called “The Tyranny of the Should” this tendency to create an idealized self and a rejection of the real self. Albert Ellis spoke about the three kinds of “musts.” Using the word “should” is conveying criticism, like “scolding” oneself (or others). The value statements implied by that word are arbitrary and relative. The laws of Nature do not follow any “should,” but instead are what they are, and we don’t get a vote. Practice Rephrasing — replacing “should” with “is” or “does” or “I would prefer it if…” Reattribution — considering the alternative causes of events and behaviors. Positive Reframing — acknowledging that Should Statements come out of a very good place in you, that they reflect positive attributes and values, and that there is a helpful side to holding those beliefs. See Also , by Karen Horney , by Albert Ellis , the Online Etymology Dictionary

14 minJUL 4
Comments
009: Three Little Words That Can Mess up Your Life (Part 1) — Should

008: There Are Only Three Kinds of Business

Byron Katie likes to say that there are only three kinds of business in the world: mine, yours, and God’s. God’s business refers to the forces of Nature or to events that are beyond human control. Your business, is someone else’s life, including what they feel, think, and choose to do. My business is what’s left, that is, what is within my control. In his popular book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey describes the notion of Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence. We add here the Circle of Control, where Circle of Control = What I choose to do and can directly manipulate. Circle of Influence = What is not directly within my control, but can be affected by what I do. Circle of Concern = What I mentally worry about, whether or not I can do anything about it.

20 minJUN 11
Comments
008: There Are Only Three Kinds of Business

007: What Is Enlightenment?

We’re taking a left turn, today, from cognitive theory, and we are going to talk about spirituality and the place it occupies on the path to peace. I refer to Sam Harris’s book,Waking Up, and I quote from an episode of his podcast,Making Sense. The bookAshrams, by Arnaud Desjardins, is probably out of print. So isSpiritual Awakening, by Ram Dass. See Also - A Mind at Home With Itself, by Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell - Tao Te Ching, by Lao Tsu, translation by Stephen Mitchell - Ego, by Alan Watts - The Perennial Philosophy, by Aldous Huxley - The Brain’s Default Mode Network(2015), by Marcus Raichle.Annual Review of Neuroscience,38(1), 433–447. - Why Buddhism Is True, by Robert Wright

27 minAPR 15
Comments
007: What Is Enlightenment?

Bonus Episode — Social Distancing

If you are in the same situation as me, you are mostly staying home with the members of your household, except for necessary outings like getting food, gas, or just getting a breath of fresh air. Many of you may also be working from home, as I am. As a result, you may be feeling rather isolated. And that’s where I wanted to make my point. Had this virus hit 25 years ago, we wouldn’t have had all the technology to connect with each other like we do now. We only had telephone and maybe email for some. Now, we can see each other on a big screen TV and talk to friends and relatives who live on the other side of the globe. That’s pretty much what I have been doing during these past couple of weeks. My cousins and sisters live in Europe and elsewhere. We created this chat group on WhatsApp, last year, and we had been using it to keep each other up to date. But now that we’re all stuck at home, we have been ramping it up, sharing silly videos of ourselves, singing out of tune and doing...

5 minMAR 25
Comments
Bonus Episode — Social Distancing

006: Thinking Traps (Part 3) — Personalization

The next 4 Thinking Traps are grouped under the categoryPersonalization. We commit these distortions when we cannot step outside of our own egocentric perspective. Thinking Traps: Personalization Personalization (Me,Self-Blame) Helplessness Blame (Them,Other-Blame) Always Being Right Emotional Reasoning (Naïve Realism, Affective Realism) Should(Should Statement, “Musturbation”) Perfectionism Comparison Fallacy of Fairness Antidotes Reattribution Acceptance Paradox Semantic Method

24 minMAR 13
Comments
006: Thinking Traps (Part 3) — Personalization

005: Thinking Traps (Part 2) — Arbitrary Inferences

The next 4 Thinking Traps I am going to talk about are grouped under the categoryArbitrary Inferences. They consist of making interpretations without having examined all the data. Thinking Traps: Arbitrary Inferences Jumping to Conclusions(also:Inference-Observation Confusion); Fortune Telling; Mind Reading; Labeling(also:Mislabeling) Antidotes Examine the Evidence Consider Alternate Possibilities Keep a “Don’t-Know” Mind Survey Technique Let’s Define Terms

16 minMAR 6
Comments
005: Thinking Traps (Part 2) — Arbitrary Inferences

004: Thinking Traps (Part 1) — Thinking in Extremes

We’re looking here at the most common Thinking Traps, especially the ones that cause mental distress. Cognitive Distortions vs. Cognitive Biases The difference between Thinking Traps (Cognitive Distortions) and Thinking Errors (Cognitive Biases) is that Thinking Traps result in difficult emotions, in mental distress, and in psychopathology. Cognitive Biases are more broadly related to an inaccurate perception of reality. Some examples of Cognitive Biases are the Availability Heuristic, the Empathy Gap, Anchoring. Thinking Traps: Thinking in Extremes 1. Black-and-White Thinking (also: Polarized Thinking, All-or-Nothing Thinking, Splitting, Dichotomous Reasoning); 2. Overgeneralization; 3. Mental Filter (also: Filtering, Selective Abstraction); 4. Discounting the Positive (also: Disqualifying the Positive); and, 5. Magnification (also: Awfulizing, Catastrophizing) Antidotes 1. Thinking in Shades of Gray 2. Examine the Evidence 3. Externalization of Voices 4. Double-Standard Technique...

28 minFEB 27
Comments
004: Thinking Traps (Part 1) — Thinking in Extremes

003: Emotions Are Constructed

Let’s talk about emotions, today. Notice that I normally tend to use the word “emotions,” rather than the word “feelings.” The word “feeling” often tends to be ambiguous. When I used to ask untrained clients a question like “What are you feeling?” they would invariably answer in a sentence that started with, “Well, I feel like …”. It could be things like “I feel like I’m going to die,” “I feel like he’s judging me,” “I feel like I’m letting them down,” “I feel like something bad is going to happen,” etc. Those are not what I call “feeling words,” but judgments. The Classical View of Emotions Theclassical view of emotion, is the concept that we have evolved specific emotion circuits deep within our brains, and that they produce and encode a set of very basic emotions that have the same fingerprint in any human, and perhaps even in other mammals. When specific stimuli occurring in the world, these circuits will get triggered and produce the appropriate change ...

32 minFEB 20
Comments
003: Emotions Are Constructed

002: Core Limiting Beliefs

There is a hierarchy in our negative thoughts:Automatic Thoughts,Conditional Assumptions(orRules), andCore Beliefs(or Core Limiting Beliefs). Those form the foundation of our identity. They are the central beliefs that we maintain about ourselves, others and the world. We have mentioned this hierarchy in the previous episode. In this episode, we explore more closely how to uncover the Core Beliefs, especially Core Limiting Beliefs about ourselves. These belong in two domains:competencyanddesirability. Examples of Core Beliefs that reflectincompetencyare: I am incompetent I am a failure I am weak I am not good enough I am inferior I am dumb Examples of Core Beliefs that reflectundesirabilityare: I am undesirable I am unattractive I am unlovable I am unlikable I am bad I am worthless You can think of Core Beliefs as a pair of sunglasses. We may forget that we’re wearing them on our nose, but they still color the way we see the world: Practice In the handout, you’ll find a sample lis...

14 minFEB 13
Comments
002: Core Limiting Beliefs

001: We Feel the Way We Think

In this first episode of the podcast, I talk about how our thoughts influence our emotions. This principle was discovered—or rediscovered—by American psychologists and pioneers of the cognitive model, Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck. They were drawing on ancient wisdom, such as that of Greek philosopher Epictetus, who wrote in his philosophical manual, the Enchiridion: “What disturbs men’s minds is not events but theirjudgementson events” (Epictetus, The Enchiridion, c. 135 A.D.) Going back even further, Buddhism’s sacred scripture, the Dhammapada, start with these words: “All that we are is the result of what we have thought: it is founded on our thoughts; it is made up of our thoughts.” Opening lines of the Dhammapada (c. 500 B.C.E., trans. F. Max Müller) Today, cognitive-behavior therapy posits that: We feel the way we think When we feel depressed/angry/anxious, the thoughts that create those difficult emotions are distorted You can change the way the way you feel by changin...

21 minFEB 5
Comments
001: We Feel the Way We Think
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