Lizard People: Comedy and Conspiracy Theories

Lizard People: Comedy and Conspiracy Theories

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himalaya
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What if the government actually did cover something up in Roswell? What if yetis exist and are just really shy? What if super-intelligent lizards are wearing human skin suits, influencing international affairs and recording podcasts? Conspiracy theories are cool because they appeal to our evolved logical human brains and our stupid mammal idiot brains. So join comedian and skeptic Katelyn Hempstead as her brilliant friends try to convince her of these and many other conspiracy theories.
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We warned you! This episode? This episode is just for goofin! Our wonderful friend and guest got the dang coronoa virus so instead of making her do a bunch of mental work, we just had a good ol' time! We give out some food recs, update you on our latest projects, and explain the podcasts we would make if we had the time/energy/will power. This is our last episode before we go on our annual dip in the pool for the summer o make sure you're following us on social media! Twitter: @lizardpeoplepod IG: @lizardpeoplepodcast

You hear it at the doctor's office, from your mom, even from bus ads - you've GOT to eat your vegetables. But why? Who says? And are vegetables really even a thing?? Our spectacularly funny pal Vic Michaelis stopped by the Lizard Lair to discuss the possibility that vegetables aren't real, we've been sold that lie by corporations, and we're being hoodwinked by - among others - those dang Obamas. Is the Dole company the most evil criminal syndicate America has ever known? Are potatoes tubers? And what's your favorite Adam Sandler movie? All these mysteries will be unraveled as we discuss the humble veggie.

This week it's an Alexis and Katelyn extravaganza, as we explore the wonderful world of... science! Why did T-Rexes have such teeny arms? Why are mushrooms so weird? And why is David Attenborough so friggin confident about what apatosaurs sounded like?? All these questions and more will be discussed on this week's episode, when we explore some of our favorite mysteries of nature, and present our own personal highly researched explanations for them. Hop on your favorite search engine, because this one's about to get science-y.

Sorry Everyone, no new episode this week because Katelyn's too brain fogged out due to COVID. Don't worry, she's okay! We'll catch you next week!

Everyone loves Vegas, from the sleaziest of professional gamblers to the wholesomest of Midwestern families. But what if Vegas wasn't just fun for the whole family? What if it was fun for the whole GALAXY. That's right, artist and all-around very funny person Katie Plattner has a theory that Vegas is also a vacation destination for aliens, who've been visiting Sin City since the 1950's. Katie's got a lot of evidence to back this up, including the undeniable fact that everyone loves the Rat Pack. You hear that Alexis? EVERYONE. Along the way we also chat about culture-defining haircuts, French-Canadian circus performers, the Area 51 raid that we all definitely participated in, and dog food.

Picture this - you and all your buddies are in a basement slash Little Caesar's slash Papa John's slash sacrifice chamber. Sound like a dream come true? Then maybe you should consider a career in Congress! This week our pal Adam Peacock (host of My Neighbors Are Dead), came by to talk about the spookiest month of the year - April! Adam suspects that the US Government takes a few weeks every year to sacrifice a bunch of people - specifically people from one Babylonian family - to ensure their continuing power for the rest of the year. In this episode we address what makes April so special, what VHS videos they might be watching down in that basement, where do the blood go, and why you have to pay a bunch of money in the US just for the privilege of paying your own taxes. Thank goodness it's May!

Magic is real. At least that's what returning fave Arianna Lenarsky thinks, and if you listen to this episode you might just end up agreeing. This week we're doing it a little different - we're not here to prove or disprove a theory so much as to talk about how to become a magic wand for the universe to channel its ineffable power through. Or something? In this ep we read a little tarot, test some experiments in ESP, try to define love, hear about how the Grand Canyon was really made, and then something so shocking happens that Alexis, Arianna, and Katelyn may never be the same again. Please listen all the way to the end on this one kids.

If you were a time traveler, what would you do? Kill Hitler? Evacuate Pompei? Or would you go to 2016 and play the winning numbers for the biggest Powerball jackpot ever. If you said the 3rd one, you're the exact kind of jerk that podcaster and friend of the show Rachel Chapman is here to talk about this week. Rachel suspects that American lotteries are actually just honeypots, scams designed to trap those tricky time travelers so the government can extract their secrets. Could time travel be real and kind of boring? Are there sugar daddies for women in their 30's who mostly like to stay home and watch tv? And where does Alexis go two thirds of the way through this episode when she mysteriously vanishes?? These questions and more will be answered this week.

The old man of the forest, they call him. The Yeti of the west. That's right, our friend Michael McMillian is back on the show! And Michael's talking about none other than Bigfoot, Sasquatch, the Blur Ape. So many have hunted for Sasquatch, and yet there's never been any conclusive proof of their existence. But maybe there's a darker reason for that. Maybe... the US Government is hiding them away for their own evil purposes. Could Bigfeet be real? And could they have magic powers so astounding they're basically an entire comic book store in one big hairy bod? Gonna have to listen to find out!

It's another episode where Alexis and Katelyn can finally cut loose and talk about whatever they want to without one of these dang guests who keep showing up to cramp their style. And what is it they want to talk about? Why bathroom stuff, of course! Isn't it weird that women's bathrooms have little private caves to hide in, and men's bathrooms make you whip it out in front of everyone? So weird it just might be... the result of a conspiracy! Katelyn's got a theory that men's bathrooms are like that because of advertisers capitalizing on our cultural wang-obsession. And Alexis has a poem that she wrote back in high school that hints at a conspiracy to sell more shoes via nefarious restroom design. Together, these theories come together to explain why we've just decided it's ok for all your coworkers to know when you're pooping. CW for this one folks, it discusses genitals and transphobia!

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