Ever wonder what it really takes to keep love alive long-term? Ever see happy couples and wonder what-the-hell their secret is? (I mean… Considering you’re ready to strangle your spouse… ). In the twenty-five years we’ve been together, Mr. Smith and I have consistently and repeatedly been asked what our secrets are to not only a long-term marriage but ahappyone. Plenty of people stay together, but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that they aren’t all that happy… maybe just okay… and sometimes flat-out miserable. So, what does it really take to keep love alive and FUN over multiple decades? Well, you’re in luck. In this episode (which is part 1 of 2), Mr. Smith and I talk candidly and openly about four major factors that have kept our marriage strong, fun, and intimate. And, speaking of rocket science, many of our “secrets” aren’t all that hard… it’s just likely you’ve never been taught. Have a listen and you just may completely change the trajectory of your relationship. Thispod explores: How to stopmakingyour relationship feel likework (Ugh… don’t we already have enough work?) What it means to grow as individuals AND as a couple and where you may be totally sabotaging your partner without knowing it How to make sex important in your relationship… for reals Why you need to speak to your partner like a lover instead of a business partner and our favorite tip to help you start doing so ______ HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT! ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS’. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF. I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them toTHIS FANCY INFO PAGEon my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs. ______ PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get 10% off their first month atbetterhelp.com/boldtruthor simply enter codeboldtruthat checkout. Hello!! Join the millions of people who have found huge relief and support from BetterHelp therapists and save on your first month while you’re at it!Check it out ~> ______ ADDITIONAL RESOURCES: The Gottman Institute Come As You Are, Emily Nagoski ______ HOW TO LEAVE APPLE PODCASTS REVIEWS: Click the “Subscribe on Apple Podcasts” button below or goHERE Click on blue button that reads “view in Apple Podcasts” which will open the podcast into your personal Apple Podcasts account Click “Ratings & Reviews” under the show title Click the star rating of choice and then click the “Write a Review” button You can also click “Subscribe” under the podcast photo to be automatically notified of new episodes ______ WANT TO SUBMIT A SHOW TOPIC? Swing byTHIS PAGEand let us hear what you would like us to sound off on!
If you’ve hung around these parts for a while, you’ll know that one of the cornerstones of my philosophy is that you can deliver damn-near any sort of information (no matter how difficult) to another person as long as you handle yourself with grace and kindness. I talk much about speaking up for yourself, saying “no”, establishing boundaries and kicking people-pleasing to the curb. But, are there ever any instances when people-pleasing may actually save your ass? Yes, actually there are. Believe it or not, there are a handful of instances when speaking up for yourself is actually not the best tactic.Whaaaaa!?I know. It seems like that couldn’t possibly be the case, but just like all things in personal development, there are often no absolutes. And what about those instances when grace and kindness don’t work? What if you’ve been boundary-ing your ass off to no avail? What if youreeeeeallywant to just lose your shit on someone? Like, really just let them have it. Perhaps your ex… Maybe a dead-beat parent… Is there ever a time when speaking from anger is justified? Or the best choice even? One listener wrote to the show with this exact quandary so in this episode I share tips on *not* speaking up for yourself, kicking politeness to the curb, and what to do when grace and kindness just don’t work. This pod explores: How to know if you’ve really given “grace + kindness” the good college try The number one priority you need to evaluate when deciding if you should speak up or not The three scenarios you likely want to avoid where speaking up may get you in deep shit My personal story of dealing with a family member who outright ignored my boundary… and what I did about it ______ HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT! ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS’. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF. I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them toTHIS FANCY INFO PAGEon my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs. ______ PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get 10% off their first month atbetterhelp.com/boldtruthor simply enter codeboldtruthat checkout. Hello!! Join the millions of people who have found huge relief and support from BetterHelp therapists and save on your first month while you’re at it!Check it out ~> ______ ADDITIONAL RESOURCES: POD #449 [Dial An Expert] Healthy Boundaries for Kind People with Randy Buckley POD #372: Primitive Fear To Modern Anxiety: Understanding The Four Modern Fear Responses POD #447: [Amy Says] Boundary Deep Dive, Part 1 POD #448: [Amy Says] Boundary Deep Dive, Part 2 ______ HOW TO LEAVE APPLE PODCASTS REVIEWS: Click the “Subscribe on Apple Podcasts” button below or goHERE Click on blue button that reads “view in Apple Podcasts” which will open the podcast into your personal Apple Podcasts account Click “Ratings & Reviews” under the show title Click the star rating of choice and then click the “Write a Review” button You can also click “Subscribe” under the podcast photo to be automatically notified of new episodes ______ WANT TO SUBMIT A SHOW TOPIC? Swing byTHIS PAGEand let us hear what you would like us to sound off on!
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you have undoubtedly heard the notion of “setting boundaries”, but have you ever wondered exactly what that means? Or maybe you drummed up the nerve to tell someone (like, your mom, boss, or bestie) how you really felt about something only to be blatantly ignored? (Or worse… not even taken seriously.) How do you actually go about establishing boundaries that are clear, respected, and adhered to? It’s hard enough to broach a challenging topic with someone, let alone follow through on your boundary Here’s the deal… if you’ve been constantly bitchin’ and moanin’ about something, and you’ve been super vocal about it to everyone, except the person who really needs to know you’re (ah-hem) “upset”, then it’s probably time to have a tough convo. In this week’s episode, Part 2 of 2, I finish sharing my three-step process to establishing boundaries in a way in which you can be heard and own your personal power. This pod explores: What-the-hell a boundary even is The tell-tale place to find where a boundary is sorely needed My three-step process to having these challenging convos What to do if someone flat-out doesn’t accept your request ______ HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT! ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS’. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF. I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them toTHIS FANCY INFO PAGEon my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs. ______ PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get 10% off their first month atbetterhelp.com/boldtruthor simply enter codeboldtruthat checkout. Hello!! Join the millions of people who have found huge relief and support from BetterHelp therapists and save on your first month while you’re at it!Check it out ~> ______ ADDITIONAL RESOURCES: POD #447: Boundary Deep Dive, Part 1 ______ HOW TO LEAVE APPLE PODCASTS REVIEWS: Click the “Subscribe on Apple Podcasts” button below or goHERE Click on blue button that reads “view in Apple Podcasts” which will open the podcast into your personal Apple Podcasts account Click “Ratings & Reviews” under the show title Click the star rating of choice and then click the “Write a Review” button You can also click “Subscribe” under the podcast photo to be automatically notified of new episodes ______ WANT TO SUBMIT A SHOW TOPIC? Swing byTHIS PAGEand let us hear what you would like us to sound off on!
If you’ve hung around these parts for awhile, you know that I love to GO OFF about how to establish and enforce a boundary. Of course, this is super helpful when you have a solid understanding of your boundaries, but what’s one to do if you have no fucking clue what your boundaries even are!? I mean… how do you even figure that out? Where to start? If you’ve ever found yourself wondering the same thing, you certainly are not alone. Recently a PODiance member reached out to me with this exact conundrum. If you’ve heard this personal development buzzword floating around, but you’ve felt a little lost on how to apply it to your world, this episode is for you. In this episode, I explore 5 places you can look to figure out what your boundaries actually are, where you may need to speak up for yourself, and how to honor what feels right for you. Part 1 of 2, I also begin breaking down my 3-part process to communicating a boundary. Look out for next week’s episode as I finish off the 3-part system. If you identify as a (recovering) people-pleaser or just carewaaaaaytoo much about what others think, you’ll want to grab a notebook and pen and dig into this episode. Get ready to take a fierce stand for what matters most in your world and usher in some serious personal power. This pod explores: The hidden boundary that may be present when you’re complaining, bitchin’, and moanin’ My favorite go-to mantra to keep me in integrity and speaking up when it matters most Identifying boundaries that may be covered up by verbal abuse The boundary that needs to be established when someone writes you off, dismisses you or tells you you’re being “too sensitive” (Ugh!) HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT! ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS’. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF. I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them toTHIS FANCY INFO PAGEon my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs. ______ PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE This podcast is sponsored by LetsGetChecked and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get a whoppin’ 30% off their first test kit of choice at tryglc.com/boldtruthor simply enter codeboldtruthat checkout. Hello!! Getting necessary medical testing can be simple, safe, and easily done in the privacy of your own home. Check out this killer offer from LetsGetCheckedand save 30% on your first test kit!Check it out ~> ______ ADDITIONAL RESOURCES: Atlas of the Heart, Brené Brown ___ HOW TO LEAVE APPLE PODCASTS REVIEWS: Click the “Subscribe on Apple Podcasts” button below or goHERE Click on blue button that reads “view in Apple Podcasts” which will open the podcast into your personal Apple Podcasts account Click “Ratings & Reviews” under the show title Click the star rating of choice and then click the “Write a Review” button You can also click “Subscribe” under the podcast photo to be automatically notified of new episodes ______ WANT TO SUBMIT A SHOW TOPIC? Swing byTHIS PAGEand let us hear what you would like us to sound off on!
Our Spiritual Self is perhaps one of the most sacred and precious pieces of our personal identity. Yet, so many of us have had the ideas, concepts, and beliefs of our families of origin impressed upon us without much room for questioning or critical thinking. And if one dares to question the ideology, they are often met with severe shame and chastisement. I have met so many folks who are beginning to untangle what they truly believe and how that differs from the way they were raised. And some of these folks, such as myself, have learned that a crucial piece of their identity is being a part of the queer community, something that isn’t often affirmed in extreme religious households. So, where does that leave a truth seeker who deeply cares about being a better human, growing and developing, honoring their sexual or gender orientation and still wants to maintain some kind of relationship with family. I can certainly attest to how difficult it can be to connect with loved ones when you have diametrically opposed viewpoints on what’s “right” and what is morally sacrosanct. This week I chat with Kara Barr, the “Unshakable Queer Coach” who specifically works with ex-evangelicals looking to own their coming out story. She helps individuals maintain their own sacred identity and spirituality while learning how to engage with families finding fault with those decisions. We talk about our own experiences as queer women leaving family faith traditions, the messages women receive about taking care of everyone else’s emotions, and where trauma ends up in the mix. It is my sincere hope that our stories can be inspiration for those looking to truly honor their own spiritual path. This pod explores: What “deconstruction” actually means and how to allow yourself to question deep-seated religious concepts (Hint: it’s super fucking brave) Reckoning with the binary concept of our actions being either sinful or not sinful and how to determine your own moral code Kara’s personal story with leaving the faith she was raised in and how she was able to “come out” as both an ex-evangelical and a bi-sexual woman Understanding the intersections between religious dogma, queerness, and feeling unworthy or “not enough” (Spoiler: they’re often massivelyentangled) HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT!ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS’. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF. I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them toTHIS FANCY INFO PAGEon my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs. ______ PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get 10% off their first month atbetterhelp.com/boldtruthor simply enter codeboldtruthat checkout. Hello!! Join the millions of people who have found huge relief and support from BetterHelp therapists and save on your first month while you’re at it!Check it out ~> ______ ADDITIONAL RESOURCES: POD #443: Dial An Expert] Identity: Becoming Who You Want To Be With Sara Dean POD #444: [Amy Says] Identity Work: 4 Ways To Understand + Honor Who You Are POD #445: Dial An Expert] Leaving A Cult + Finding A New Spiritual Identity With Lopa Van Der Mersch ______ THIS WEEK’S ‘DIAL AN EXPERT ‘ GUESTIE Kara Barr (she/her) is the Unshakable Queer Coach – a certified life coach for queer, ex-evangelicals who want better relationships with fundamentalist family members. After leaving her family’s faith traditions and coming out as queer, she struggled to navigate her relationship with her parents. But through coaching, she found the tools to confidently show up as her full self and to create the type of relationship she wa...
Ever wonder how folks who end up in a cult actually, um…end up in a fucking cult? Certainly they must be highly gullible or dying for approval or just simply not that smart, right? Not exactly. Let me ask you this… Have you ever had a relationship you stayed in a bit too long because it started out so great and you kept fighting for itwaaaaypast the point of toxicity? Or have you ever stayed in a negative work environment and allowed abusive coworkers or bosses make you question your worth? Sadly, these sorts of situations are ridiculously common and the dynamic of falling prey to an abusive dogma isn’t all that different. No one ever roots for their partner to be a narcissistic asshole. So we look for the good times, attach to them, and overlook red flags. No one ever likes the idea that they made a bad career choice, so we pretend the money is worth it or the toxicity isn’t that bad even though our intuition is screaming at us. Same is true for getting sucked into the promises and allure of a charismatic leader guaranteeing extreme personal growth, spirituality, and enlightenment. Not to mention that much of our identity is formed by others impressing their beliefs on us… beliefs instilled in us by our families, our religions, our culture, our politics, you name it. In order to find our own personal truth and sense of identity, it becomes necessary to critique the beliefs we’ve attached to throughout our lives. In this week’s show, I dial up Lopa van der Mersch, spiritual seeker and the founder and CEO of Rasa, a unique adaptogenic coffee alternative. She discusses how her spiritual pursuits landed her in a cult and how she was able to reclaim not only her spirituality but also her entire identity outside of beliefs that were not aligned with her. This pod explores: How our pull to stifle red flags locks us into detrimental relationships, workplaces, and friendships and what to do about it How to look for “high demand” groups in your life who make be asking you to sacrifice too much of yourself How to deal with the fear of “What if I do it again?” when coming out of an abusive relationship or workplace Understanding the “neurochemical equivalent of fear” you are likely allowing into your life on a daily basis without even realizing it HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT! ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS’. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF. I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them toTHIS FANCY INFO PAGEon my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs. ______ PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE This podcast is sponsored by LetsGetChecked and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get a whoppin’ 30% off their first test kit of choice at tryglc.com/boldtruthor simply enter codeboldtruthat checkout. Hello!! Getting necessary medical testing can be simple, safe, and easily done in the privacy of your own home. Check out this killer offer from LetsGetCheckedand save 30% on your first test kit!Check it out ~> ______ ADDITIONAL RESOURCES: Use Code BOLDTRUTH atWearerasa.comfor 15% offf! __ THIS WEEK’S ‘DIAL AN EXPERT’ GUESTIE Lopa van der Mersch is many things: Serial entrepreneur. Mother of two. Sustainability freak. TEDx speaker. Her adventures have taken her around the world in search of health, spiritual fulfillment, and boundless energy. Three years ago, she added a new chapter to her life story: Founder and CEO of Rasa, the adaptogenic coffee alternativestransforming the way we energize. In 2015, Lopa endured what she now calls “her own personal 2020” — she left a cult, underwent emergency surgery while pregnant, lost a beloved family member, and had a traumatic Cesarean bi...
If you’ve hung out with me for any length of time, you’ll know that I am often encouraging folks to stop identifying with monikers that feel disempowering. For instance, if you want to get more shit done, you probably should stop calling yourself lazy. Or if you want to knock it off with the people-pleasing already, it’s time to stop saying, “I’m such a people-pleaser”. When we start statements with “I am…” or “I’m so…” we inadvertently cement the very characteristics we want to distance ourselves from. The concept of our “identity” is something that fluctuates throughout our lifetime and it’s no doubt you’ve dealt with changes to your life roles. You have a baby, now you have a new role as parent. You start a business and now your role changes from employee to business owner. And just like any other change in our life, changes to our roles usher in a slew of emotions to reckon with. And let’s not forget how other folks shape our identity. It’s likely you can thin...
If you’ve been hanging out with me for any length of time, you are likely a person who gives a shit about growing and developing and becoming the person you truly want to be. But, what does that actuallylook like? What does it reallymeanto actively work toward a more evolved version of yourself? What if you are so stuck in a cycle of working, taking care of everyone else, putting out fires, rinse, repeat and have no idea what you actually enjoy or really want? It can be so easy to get into a tornado of a career/work life and forget what you even like to do for fun. Or maybe you threw yourself into raising children and in between diaper changes and college tours, you forgot what you’re really passionate about. It’s not uncommon to get to a place in your life where you feel like your entire identity is wrapped up in one major area of your life. And then you’re like, “No wonder I’m not happy… I have no idea who I am and what I like anymore!” On this week’s show, I dial up my pal, Sara Dean, a mindset and leadership coach who, following the birth of her son, rebuilt her own identity one step at a time. She is passionate about helping women own their space and embrace all of who they are… even if they aren’t sure where to start. In this discussion, we break down where we tend to lose who we are and we also dig into Sara’s easy-to-implement steps you can take to uncover who you want to be. This pod explores: Sara’s two-prong approach of “Frequency and Recency” and how you can use them to become more of the person you want to be How to own your personal superpower even if you are feeling lost, stuck, and have no idea what you want What it looks like to stop waiting for permission and how to ask for support instead How to examine what kind of evidence you are collecting and if that is helping or hurting you from becoming the person you want to be HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT! ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS’. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF. I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin’ some gems (um, like, who couldn’t use some new tools?) please send them toTHIS FANCY INFO PAGEon my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs. ______ PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE This podcast is sponsored by LetsGetChecked and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get a whoppin’ 30% off their first test kit of choice at tryglc.com/boldtruthor simply enter codeboldtruthat checkout. Hello!! Getting necessary medical testing can be simple, safe, and easily done in the privacy of your own home. Check out this killer offer from LetsGetCheckedand save 30% on your first test kit!Check it out ~> ______ ADDITIONAL RESOURCES: POD #439:Exploring Love Addiction And Attachment Styles With Giovanna Capozza POD #440:Working With Your Inner Child + Attracting Love With Veronica Grant POD #441:What To Do When You Are Desiring Intimacy But Fearing Vulnerability POD #442:Understanding + Cultivating Intimacy With Allana Pratt __ THIS WEEK’S ‘DIAL AN EXPERT’ GUESTIE Sara Deanis a mindset, business and leadership coach. She is also the creator and host of theShameless Mom Academy Podcast, a top rated podcast with 4 million downloads. Sara’s biggest passion is helping women own their space. After enduring her own identity crisis following the birth of her son, Sara took her background in psychology/health/ wellness and rebuilt her identity, one step at a time. Sara motivates and inspires women to stop shrinking and start shining. She is on a mission to inspire women and moms, in particular, to live bigger, bolder, braver #everydamnday. Sara serves women through her podcast, her thriving Momentum Mamas membership community, her Tenacious Mamas business & leadership mastermind a...