In this highlight from the podcast, Dr. Cloud dives into an all-too common problem during confrontations: Hijacking. We’ve probably all had this happen at least once. Someone has done something that needs to be addressed and when we confront them they externalize it: it’s about someone else, or some other thing that happened. The problem is no longer in the room, and as we all know, you can’t fix a problem that’s not in the room. Another thing they might do is turn into the victim and shut down. When this happens they have effectively hijacked the conversation. Dr. Cloud gives examples on how to handle various types of hijacking. We have an upcoming workshop called Getting Over Trauma on August 30th at 5pm Pacific! Dr. Cloud will help you identify your traumatic injuries, and walk you through the steps necessary to get back to healthy functioning. If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to https://Boundaries.me/trauma. Get a free 14 day trial to Boundaries.Me with over 90 video courses, daily coaching emails and more. We've got courses on codependency, finding safe people, dealing with a narcissist, and over 90 other courses. You'll also get daily coaching videos delivered to your inbox--short 2-4 minute videos that give you one thing to do that day to build your way to a better version of yourself. We've also got a members-only support community on the site where you can discuss what you're learning, and get support and share support along the way. It's a free two-week trial, cancel at anytime, and only $9 a month after that. https://boundaries.me
The word “hate” triggers lots of thoughts in most people, but there are good types of hate. It’s good to hate depression, poverty, lies, violence and so on. In fact, what we hate can actually define us in positive ways. At the core of this talk, Dr. Cloud points out that while hating is a very natural human emotion, it needs to be done the right way. We have an upcoming workshop called Getting Over Trauma on August 30th at 5pm Pacific! Dr. Cloud will help you identify your traumatic injuries, and walk you through the steps necessary to get back to healthy functioning. If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to https://Boundaries.me/trauma. Get a free 14 day trial to Boundaries.me with over 90 video courses, daily coaching emails and more. We've got courses on codependency, finding safe people, dealing with a narcissist, and over 90 other courses. You'll also get daily coaching videos delivered to your i...
There are two parallel tracks that run through just about everything we do: Love and Truth, or put another way–Love and Structure–or yet another Love and Limits. To get the good out of something we need to apply a structure, a method, a limit, but we need to do it lovingly. This applies broadly in life. Not just in how we treat others, but also in how we talk to ourselves. When you fail at something, do you give yourself feedback with love? Probably not. That’s the big divide. Get Love and Limits to be better friends and your life will be better. Start with yourself and you'll see how it pours into your relationships. We have an upcoming workshop called Getting Over Trauma on August 30th at 5pm Pacific! Dr. Cloud will help you identify your traumatic injuries, and walk you through the steps necessary to get back to healthy functioning. If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to https://Boundaries.me/tra...
What does happiness mean to you? 90% of it comes from things other than circumstances. We don’t have a lot of control over the circumstances in our lives, but we do have control over our practices and routines. No matter what circumstances happen to you, winning the lottery, buying something you’ve always wanted, whatever it is, you’ll come back to your set-point of happiness. Happy people put practices in their lives that lead to their set-point of happiness increasing, and you can too. So what are those practices? Dr. Cloud discusses the main factors that contribute to growing and lasting happiness. Got a narcissist in your life? Not sure what to do? Then you're in luck! We have an upcoming workshop on Narcissism on June 28th at 5pm Pacific! If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to https://Boundaries.me/Narcissism. Get a free 14 day trial to Boundaries.me with over 90 video courses, daily coaching e...
In this highlight from the podcast, Dr. Cloud comes back to a foundational, but oft overlooked aspect of boundaries. The Law of Respect. When we want people to respect our boundaries we in turn have to respect theirs, and it’s not easy. We have to learn to love and respect people’s “no’s.” It’s one of the hardest parts about setting boundaries. We have an upcoming workshop on Narcissism on June 28th at 5pm Pacific! If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to https://boundaries.me/Narcissism. Get a free 14 day trial to Boundaries.me with over 90 video courses, daily coaching emails and more. We've got courses on codependency, finding safe people, dealing with a narcissist, and over 90 other courses. You'll also get daily coaching videos delivered to your inbox--short 2-4 minute videos that give you one thing to do that day to build your way to a better version of yourself. We've also got a members-only...
In this highlight Dr. Cloud talks about the gap between where we are now and where we want to be. It’s often fear that prevents us from getting where we want to be. Each person's fears are different. How are you afraid, and what does your reaction to fear look like? Dr. Cloud talks about how to find what those fears are in the different parts of your life. Got a narcissist in your life? Not sure what to do? Then you're in luck! We have an upcoming workshop on Narcissism on June 28th at 5pm Pacific! If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to Boundaries.me/Narcissism. Get a free 14 day trial to Boundaries.me with over 90 video courses, daily coaching emails and more. We've got courses on codependency, finding safe people, dealing with a narcissist, and over 90 other courses. You'll also get daily coaching videos delivered to your inbox--short 2-4 minute videos that give you one thing to do that day to build...
In this highlight from the show, Dr. Cloud addresses why we worry about people not liking us. It’s fine to be concerned about what people close to you think, but not everyone. If we can’t differentiate between who matters to us and who doesn’t, then anyone can affect us. We’ll start people-pleasing with everybody. The solution is not a solo-event. While there is some work one can do on their own to rewire their thinking, what matters is spending time in healing relationships. That could be a therapist, or wise friend, or mentor, or a coach–anyone you can feel vulnerable around and know you’re safe with. Dr. Cloud talks about how this changes our thinking in all of our encounters. Got a narcissist in your life? Not sure what to do? Then you're in luck! We have an upcoming workshop on Narcissism on June 28th at 5pm Pacific! If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to https://Boundaries.me/Narcissism. Ge...
In this highlight from the podcast, Dr. Cloud answers a frequently asked question about getting a parent to seek therapy. For people of faith, belief in the power of prayer can sometimes prevent them from seeking professional therapy. When someone says it’s all just psycho-babble, the Bible says otherwise. We need help from others, for grieving, for addiction, for depression, and so much more, and the Bible backs that up. Got a narcissist in your life? Not sure what to do? Then you're in luck! We have an upcoming workshop on Narcissism on June 28th at 5pm Pacific! If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more go to Boundaries.me/Narcissism. Get a free 14 day trial to Boundaries.me with over 90 video courses, daily coaching emails and more. We've got courses on codependency, finding safe people, dealing with a narcissist, and over 90 other courses. You'll also get daily coaching videos delivered to your inbox--short 2-4 min...
In this highlight from the podcast, Dr. Cloud answers a written question: How do I get started changing emotionally unhealthy patterns? The first step to breaking an unhealthy pattern is recognizing and owning the need to change it. Following that, we need to become comfortable with it taking some time. Unhealthy patterns are not changed overnight. Healing takes time, and growth takes time. Changing a pattern is not the same as fixing a problem. Patterns recur, problems are incidental. Which leads to the main step: How are you going to spend your time, and how do you stay on track? Dr. Cloud talks about how to change the way you’re thinking about failures and setbacks along the way. Got a narcissist in your life? Not sure what to do? Then you're in luck! We have an upcoming workshop on Narcissism on June 28th at 5pm Pacific! If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to Boundaries.me/Narcissism. Get a free 1...
In this highlight from the podcast Dr. Cloud dispels the myth of “self-help.” All help comes from outside ourselves. We have to get out of our closed circle in order to break through and learn new things. But advice is cheap, and you can get it anywhere. You have to turn to people that have the skills, energy and or intelligence to really help you. Whatever gap you want to close in your life, try doing it on your own, but realize that you may need help. When you learn that you’re not in a closed circle with your problems, that you can open that door and get help from the outside that actually knows about the solutions to the problems you’re facing, you will grow and overcome. Got a narcissist in your life? Not sure what to do? Then you're in luck! We have an upcoming workshop on Narcissism on June 28th at 5pm Pacific! If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to Boundaries.me/Narcissism. Get a free 14 da...