We did it. We ran out of Shrek content. Your hosts are older, more cynical, and arguably dumber now. We reflect on what we've learned, what Shrek is, why Shrek is, our podspirations, and which ogre baby has the will to power. This has been fun and we thank you for listening. See you when Shrek 5 comes slithering out of Jeffrey Katzenberg's birth canal.
Your hosts have said a lot of things about Shrek over the course of this podcast, but it's high time we heard from the common folk, the everyman, the hoi polloi. Is Shrek simply funny musical? Does it walk the line like The Simpsons? Do the disc ever wear out?? To find out, Alicia has scoured the depths of Amazon to bring you the finest in fawning, harsh, bizarre, and puzzling user reviews. This is a long one, and it is worth it. This week: fairtale critters [sic], foam-injected Splenda, blasphemous spoofs, Rapunzel's cancer, solid kiddie Pokemon, Bob (not gay), and the worst book Trish has ever read. TW: we read a couple reviews from people that are very upset about LGBT content. They're not terribly virulent, but if you would rather not hear that sort of thing, skip the segments at 41:20-45:05 and 51:40-55:45.
Possibly based on a half-remembered recommendation or (more likely) our own rotting brains, this week we watched an insane animated film from 2004 that has nothing to do with Shrek called Boo, Zino, & the Snurks. This week: the self-explanatory nature of Snurks, Han Solo with brain damage, God is a useless old man, and mailing Homer Simpson's ear to Matt Groening. To the rescue!
We listen to the (largely irrelevant) soundtracks from Shrek the Third and Shrek Forever After. This week: Zep plays Ellis Island, alt-right Ferguson Darling, Tiny Minogue, depressing karaoke failures, and Alicia lectures kids these days with the tale of the 8-day Sailor Saturn download.
Content!! We listen to the original motion picture soundtracks from Shrek and Shrek 2. This week: campus Kazaa, Danny Glover's lazy drag alter-ego, translating Dido, Alicia infuriates Evanescence fans, and Dan dares to suggest any theme park can compare to Cedar Point.
We finally finish up the DVD content with Shrek Forever After special features. This week: backhanded yearbook compliments, Liverpool is not in Scotland, the best/worst DVD menus to fuck to, lepperkins, a burlap shawl, and Dreamworks logos for the blind. H.A.G.S.!
Happy new year! We're still doing this! This week: Dan grapples with respecting Ryan Seacrest, universal applications of My Dinner With Andre, the amazing feats of the single father, Andy Rooney hates literacy, and chaos agent Jeffrey Katzenberg throws more bullshit in the air.
With no commentary track to guide us, we jump into the deep end of special features for the worst of the Shrek films (need we specify? it's the third one, dummy). This week: Archie, Winnie the Pooh, and other animated properties much more pleasant to look at than Shrek, X-Men-FL, raccoons fucking dogs, powdered wooden butts, the Camelot high school spinoff that wasn't, and the Shrek producers finally admit on camera that their old animations were shit. And that's The Donkey Dance!
Our plans to watch Shrek the Third with commentary track were foiled by it not existing. However, Shrek 2 had two commentary tracks, so that's what we did! Oh, and porn. This week: footjob spa, hyper-specific caption porn, Rumpy's BDSM contracts, Cameron Diaz and the burp heard 'round the world, useless brainstorms, and Dragon's Choice.
Shrek 2 doesn't have quite as much exciting bonus content as the first movie, but somehow we made do with only 2 hours' worth. This week: fuckin HP shills, THE VOTE FOR SHRECK AND FEONIE, spider arms, Dan tries to kickstart some Reboot nostalgia, and the Puss in Boots/Conquistador/New World theory.