Today we welcome Michael Bungay Stanier, the Founder of Box of Crayons. He is the author of the best-selling book The Coaching Habit, with over a million copies sold. He was a Rhodes Scholar and in 2019 was named the #1 thought leader in coaching. Michael has a masters degree in Philosophy from Oxford, a law degree and a BA with highest honors from the Australian National University. His latest book is called How to Begin.In this episode, I talk to Michael Bungay Stanier about how to begin. When we set goals, the most popular framework that often comes to mind is the idea of SMART goals. Instead of starting with what’s measurable, Michael urges us to start with what’s important. He shares his criteria for identifying what a worthy goal is, as well as advice on how to stay committed to that worthy goal. We also touch on the topics of coaching, empathy, change, and community.Website: www.mbs.worksTwitter: @mbs_worksTopics02:22 About Box of Crayons03:20 Michael’s interest and expertise in coaching07:15 The Coaching Habit12:20 “SMART goals are dumb”16:32 What is a worthy goal?23:19 The magic is in the drafting25:50 Before action, learn to commit30:27 Adaptive change vs technical change33:01 Calling in the directions37:51 Stick with the journey43:20 Celebrate the journey
Today we welcome back Steve Magness who is a world-renowned expert on high performance. He has been a consultant on mental skills development for professional sports teams, including some of the top teams in the NBA. Steve is the co-author of Peak Performance, The Passion Paradox, and the author of The Science of Running. Collectively, his books have sold more than a quarter-million copies in print, ebook, and audio formats. His latest book is called Do Hard Things.In this episode, I talk to Steve Magness about real toughness. The prevailing narrative around achievement extols the merits of unrelenting resolve. To show vulnerability is to show weakness. According to Steve, the hyperfocus on external bravado is detrimental to performance and mental health. He outlines his four core pillars of resilience to replace our broken model of toughness. We also touch on the topics of stoicism, self-esteem, emotions, mindfulness, and sports psychology.Website: stevemagness.comTwitter: @stevemagnessTopics04:49 Why machismo is so popular08:47 UFC vs artistic swimming14:15 Ditch the facade, embrace reality19:31 Accept what you’re capable of24:24 Know when to grit and when to quit26:38 Listen to your body31:34 Do hard things more efficiently35:17 Steve’s 4 minute mile39:42 Personal wins43:12 Respond, instead of react47:12 Transcend discomfort
Today we welcome Alexi Robichaux who is the co-founder and CEO of BetterUp, a mobile platform that brings together world-class coaching, AI technology, and behavioral science to deliver sustainable positive change. Alexi is also the Chairman of Youth Leadership America (YLA). They have collaborated with leading companies including Disney, Google, and Hilton Hotels to coach and mentor future leaders. Alexi holds a B.A. in political science and non-profit management with summa cum laude distinction from the University of Southern California.In this episode, I talk to Alexi Robichaux about the future of coaching. There are countless ways to practice coaching, but Alexi believes coaching must be rooted in science-backed techniques for reliable outcomes—which is precisely what they do at BetterUp. Coaching is not a replacement for therapy, but it can help individuals become more resilient and purposeful in their daily lives. We also touch on the topics of self-actualization, flow, languishing, imagination, and Alexi’s vision for the future of coaching.Website: www.betterup.comTwitter: @arobichauxTopics04:06 What is coaching?07:30 Better Up’s coaching model10:26 Coaching vs therapy14:37 What good coaching looks like19:40 Peak experiences and dichotomy transcendence25:22 Research and innovation as a for-profit business30:39 Humanistic coaching philosophy32:45 How to overcome languishing37:10 Better Up Labs41:40 Alexi’s current coaching practice44:30 The future of coaching
Today we welcome Christine Robinson who is an executive coach, consultant, facilitator, and strategist whose expertise lies in building pathways to policy and systems change. She has worked as a consultant to the White House, the Ford Foundation, Harvard Medical School, the Lumina Foundation and other notable organizations. Christine studied at Vassar College, Brandeis University, and the University of Pennsylvania, and is trained as a developmental and community psychologist.In this episode, I talk to Christine Robinson about community psychology. In order to nurture a culture of well-being, Christine says it’s crucial to acknowledge the multifaceted identities of individuals. Instead of seeing marginalized groups as “others”, she encourages us to view diversity as a valuable asset to society. We need to listen to everyone’s perspective before we can bring forth social change and co-create an inclusive and equitable community.Website: christinerobinsonconsulting.comTopics02:44 What is community psychology?06:59 Urie Brofenbenner’s ecological systems theory13:58 Community well-being and collective efficacy18:24 Intersectionality of social identities24:41 Socialization and meaning making27:30 Othering - a barrier to well being34:25 Intersectional equity40:53 The paradox of differences50:20 Inclusive society psychology55:28 Co-creation and capacity building58:41 Negative impacts of discrimination1:01:56 Cultural intelligence and competence
Today we welcome Dr. Jim Tucker who is a child psychiatrist and the Bonner-Lowry Professor of Psychiatry and Neurobehavioral Sciences at the University of Virginia. He is Director of the UVA Division of Perceptual Studies, where he is continuing the work of Dr. Ian Stevenson on reincarnation. He has been invited to speak about his research on Good Morning America, Larry King Live, and CBS Sunday Morning. He recently published BEFORE: Children's Memories of Previous Lives, a 2-in-1 edition of his previous books.In this episode, I talk to Dr. Jim Tucker about the science of reincarnation. We delve into his research findings and methodology on children who claim to remember their previous lives. Dr. Tucker notes that these children don’t just recall biographical details of their past, but they also retain feelings and emotions. His findings have important implications for how we understand consciousness. We also touch on the topics of mortality, trauma, quantum physics, and panpsychism.Website: www.uvadops.orgFacebook: /jimbtuckermdTopics02:15 Dr. Ian Stevenson’s research04:59 Psychophore06:39 Dr. Jim Tucker’s interest in reincarnation10:01 Past life statements and unusual play18:34 Announcing dreams, predictions, birthmarks25:13 Fraud, self-deception, fantasy30:18 Genetic memory34:21 Transfer of consciousness39:07 Why are past memories so fleeting?41:10 Are we all reincarnated?42:20 Death, trauma, and growth across lifetimes48:08 Panpsychism and multiverses
Today we welcome Whitney Goodman, the radically honest psychotherapist behind the hugely popular Instagram account Sit With Whit. She is the owner of The Collaborative Counseling Center, a private therapy practice in Miami. Whitney has her own column in Psychology Today and has been featured in The New York Times, Teen Vogue, NY Magazine, Instyle, Good Morning America, and other publications. Her most recent book is called Toxic Positivity: Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy.In this episode, I talk to Whitney Goodman about toxic positivity. A happy outlook in life is a strength; but when taken too far, it can backfire and work against us. Positivity stops becoming helpful when we deny the realities of hardship and trauma. Whitney believes positivity is not the panacea to our problems—it needs to be applied in the right time, place, and purpose. She shares with us ways on how to be supportive without being dismissive of our own well-being and of others. We also tou...
Today we welcome Mollie West Duffy who is an expert in organizational design, development, and leadership coaching. She’s helped advise and coach leaders and founders at companies including Casper, Google, LinkedIn, Bungalow, and Slack. She’s experienced in designing talent processes and systems, as well as organizational structures and behaviors, cultural values, and learning and development programs. Mollie is the author of the Wall Street Journal bestselling book No Hard Feelings. Her most recent book with Liz Fosslien is called Big Feelings: How To Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay.In this episode, I talk to Mollie West Duffy about how to navigate big feelings. Our emotion-phobic society has a lot of misconceptions about dealing with difficult emotions and what they mean. According to Mollie, big feelings can lead to a deeper understanding of ourselves if we sit with our emotions and work through them. Mollie and I share our personal experiences with depression and anxiety and how we coped. We also touch on the topics of anger, perfectionism, social comparison, burn out, and uncertainty.Website: molliewestduffy.comTwitter: @molliewestTopics01:43 Mollie and Liz’s collaborations05:08 How Big Feelings was published08:31 Our emotion-phobic society12:26 Illustrating emotions15:13 Myths about big feelings18:32 Emotional labor21:14 Anxiety, uncertainty, resilience25:03 Scott’s tips to manage anxiety29:48 Separate the “withins” from the “beyonds”32:14 Assess your tolerance of uncertainty36:26 Embrace comparison43:00 Mollie’s tips to manage depression48:30 Translate your anger50:43 Perfectionism isn’t as helpful as we think
Today we welcome John Kaag, the Chair and Professor of philosophy at the University of Massachusetts Lowell. He received his Masters in Philosophy from Pennsylvania State University and his Ph.D. in Philosophy from the University of Oregon. His writing has been published in The Paris Review, The New York Times, and Harper’s Magazine. He is the author of Hiking with Nietzsche, American Philosophy: A Love Story, and his most recent book is Sick Souls, Healthy Minds: How William James Can Save Your Life.In this episode, my conversation with John Kaag revolves around the existential question we’ve all had: is life worth living? John expounds on William James’ answer of “maybe”. He shares about his near-death experience and how vulnerable moments in his life have led him to a more nuanced understanding of philosophy. We also touch on the topics of metaphysics, determinism, suffering, religion, and transcendence.Website: johnkaag.comTwitter: @JohnKaagTopics03:53 Existential anxiety, fear, freedom08:50 Is life worth living?11:14 Seizing control over existence14:23 Metaphysical chance is real17:36 The unseen order and human blindness25:43 “Living unnecessarily near our surface”30:18 Pragmatism, zest, authenticity33:26 Resignation or hope in the face of mortality38:10 Dissolution of the self42:26 Spiritual narcissism44:24 Companions in misery49:28 Melancholy among philosophers52:13 Life is for living53:41 The loving cup
Today we welcome Dr. Frans de Waal, a Dutch American biologist and primatologist known for his work on the behavior and social intelligence of primates. He is a professor in Emory University's psychology department and the Director of the Living Links Center at the Yerkes National Primate Research Center. Chimpanzee Politics, The Age of Empathy, The Bonobo and the Atheist, and Mama's Last Hug are among his most popular books that have been translated in over 20 languages. His latest book is called Different: Gender Through the Eyes of a Primatologist.In this episode, I talk to Frans de Waal about sex and gender. As a primatologist, he shares his research findings on the biological differences between male and female primates. Despite obvious distinctions between masculine and feminine behavior, great apes have no trouble accepting non-binary individuals—a behavior we humans need to practice more of. Dr. Frans clears up what alpha male really means and debunks the “natural order” ...
Today we welcome Todd Rose, the co-founder and president of Populace, a nonprofit think tank that works to find solutions to redistribute opportunity, so all people have the chance to live fulfilling lives in a thriving society. Prior to Populace, he was a faculty member at Harvard University where he founded the Laboratory for the Science of Individuality and directed the Mind, Brain, and Education program. Todd is the best-selling author of Dark Horse and The End of Average. and his most recent book is called Collective Illusions.For part two of our interview, I talk to Todd Rose about collective illusions. Humans are a tribal species, prone to conformity. In a lot of instances, we will act according to what our in-group wants rather than what we want as individuals. Ironically, Todd's research shows that we make poor inferences about the majority consensus. Failing to recognize collective illusions can have negative consequences on our identities, relationships, values, and society. To avoid falling into conformity traps, Todd encourages us to live congruent private and public lives that adhere to our personal convictions.Website: www.toddrose.comTwitter: @ltoddroseTopics03:10 What is a collective illusion?06:16 Social media and perceived consensus13:38 Self-fulfilling political polarization19:10 Socializing the concept of collective illusions20:49 Gender bias in politics22:59 Conformity traps in groups and relationships28:15 Do republicans think the 2020 elections were rigged?31:32 Preference falsification and manipulation36:22 The need for belonging and self-expression38:26 False expectations distort relationships39:48 Congruence, positive deviance, and authentic responsibility46:54 Norms as checking mechanisms