S01E17 Rex: "What are these?" Bree: "They're brochures for youth detention centers." Rex: "How long have you had these?" Bree: "They've been in the drawer for a few months. I had a feeling we might be needing them." Rex: "Bree, I don't know." Bree: "We have to admit that we need help. If we can't get through to Andrew then we have to find someone who can." Rex: "You really want to send our son away to some prison camp?" Bree: "Oh come on, don't be so dramatic. Some of these places actually look fun. Look. Camp Hennessey." (reading) "Camp Hennessey teaches kids respect for authority and boundaries in a summer camp-like atmosphere." Rex: "The perimeter is surrounded by an electrified fence." Bree: "Well, you have to admit that's an efficient way to teach respect for boundaries. Okay, how about this one. It's perfect for A...
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S01E17 Scene 1 Dennis: "So, it's tomorrow. I told you I'd check back in on that date." Susan: "Bill, um, I have my reasons." Bill: "Am I hideous?" Susan: "Oh, God, no. No! You are just so incredibly not hideous." Bill: "Thank you. I think." Susan: "See now. Maybe it's the word "date" that's throwing me off." Bill: "Look. I just want to have some fun. You know dinner, drinks. No strings attached." (Susan smiles. She looks at her refrigerator which has Mike's unopened letter clipped to it.) Susan: "Okay, I'll go out with you." Bill: "Great. I know this little place out of the way. You're gonna love it." Scene 2 Bill: "Edie." Edie: "Your foreman said that you were out on a date with a hottie. Evidently, someone's in need of Lasik." ...
S01E17 Scene 1 Bill: "Hey listen, I'm about to break for lunch. How would you like to join me?" Susan: "Lunch?" Bill: "Yeah. Lunch." Susan: "Are you asking me out on a date?" Bill: "That sounds kind of formal for a burrito and a can of soda but, yeah, I guess I am." Susan: "Aren't you dating Edie?" Bill: "We went out on a date, we're not dating." Susan: "Oh." Bill: "So how about it? I'm buying." Susan: "Yeah. I just got out of this relationship with this guy, Mike, and it's kind of complicated. Anyway, I'm just not even sure where I am right now emotionally, I'm just all jumbled up and I don't think I could leap right into something new, relationship wise, you know, at the moment." Bill: "Again. Just a burrito." Susan: "Sorry." Bill: "Okay, I understand. Sounds like you need a little time to refle...
S01E16 Scene 1 Gabrielle: "God, I have to go to the bathroom again." Carlos: "Go to Bree's." Gabrielle: "I've been to Bree's twice today." Carlos: "Then go to Susan's." Gabrielle: "I hate Susan's. She has all these weird scented candles. Her house reeks of apricot. Carlos: "How about Lynette's?" Gabrielle: "No, you don't understand. I don't want to go to anybody's house anymore. I'm tired of knocking on doors and making up excuses as to why we haven't fixed our plumbing." Carlos: "Why are you yelling at me?" Gabrielle: "Because it's your fault." Carlos: "My fault?" Gabrielle: "Yes. If you hadn't gotten yourself indicted, we would have pipes right now." Carlos: "I got indicted trying to make enough money to keep you happy. In case you hadn't noticed, you're a little materialistic. Gabriell...
S01E16 Maisy: "So...what brings you here?" Bree: "I need a favor." Maisy: "I thought as much." Bree: "I heard that there is a, um, little black book with the names of your clients in it." Maisy: "There is." Bree: "I was wondering if, perhaps, you could remove Rex's name from that little book." Maisy: "Wow, that's a big favor. Those muffins better be really good." Bree: "I have some money that I've been putting aside for emergencies. It can be all yours if you just..." Maisy: "Keep my mouth shut?" Bree: "Continue to be discreet." Maisy: "Gosh. I don't know." Bree: "I don't think it's asking that much. All you need to do is remove one little name." Maisy: "But if I do it for you, then I have to do it for all the other wives. That wouldn't be fair, now, would it?" Bree: "Maisy, please. I mean...
S01E16 Scene 1 Bree: "I can see that Tisha is making the rounds. She must have some juicy new anecdote." Rex: "Then, get her over here. I could use a funny story today." Bree: "Tisha. Tisha. Oh, I can tell by that look on your face you've got something good. Now, come on, don't be selfish." Tisha: "Well, first off, you're not friends with Maisy Gibbons, are you?" Bree: "No." Tisha: "Thank god, because this is too good. Maisy was arrested. While Harold was at work, she was having sex with men in her house for money. Can you imagine?" Bree: "No, I can't." Tisha: "And that's not even the best part. Word is, she had a little black book with all her clients' names." Rex: "So, uh...you think that'll get out?" Tisha: "Of course. These things always do. Nancy, wait up. I can't wait to tell you this. Wait, wait." Bree: &quo...
S01E16 Lynette: "Nurse Abigail?" Nurse Abigail: "Mrs. Scavo, right? The twins' mother?" Lynette: "I just wanted to tell you that the boys are now lice-free." Nurse Abigail: "Good to hear." Lynette: "I just can't figure out how it happened. They get a bath every night. Trust me, it's the ugliest 15 minutes of the day." Nurse Abigail: "I believe you." Lynette: "I keep thinking that maybe it was the petting zoo that I took them to last week. That llama was really iffy." Nurse Abigail: "Mrs. Scavo, it doesn't work that way. Lice only spreads from human to human. Even the cleanest kid in the world can get it if he gets too close to the wrong kid." Lynette: "Really?" Nurse Abigail: "Yes. So don't be so hard on yourself, huh?" Lynette: "I guess. Still, I can't help but feel a little guilty. After all, my kids started an entire lice ...
S01E15Scene 1Justin: "Hey, Mrs. Solis." Gabrielle: "I'm sorry. Do I know you?" Justin: "Yeah, I'm Justin. John's roommate? I've been waiting forever for you to show up." Gabrielle: "Really, why?" Justin: "I want to do you a favor." Gabrielle: "What kind of favor?" Justin: "Well, John says that you can't exactly afford a gardener right now, and I told him I'd be happy to do it. For free." Gabrielle: "You want to mow my lawn for free?" Justin: "Mow your lawn, water your flowers, trim your bushes. I could do everything John did for you."Gabrielle: "That's very generous of you, but I don't think so." Justin: "Why?" Gabrielle: "Because my husband is home quite a lot these days. If any bush needs trimming, he takes care of it." Justin: "Well, this is a very beautiful yard. I'm sure it could use a little extra at...
S01E16 Scene 1 Edie: "So, uh, where was Susan today?" Lynette: "She's going through something, and I'm sure she'd prefer it to be private." Edie: "She's upset with Mike, isn't she? Well, come on. I'm gonna find out sooner or later." Lynette: "She's devastated about the breakup, and she hasn't left the house in days." Edie: "Well, why didn't you just tell me that?" Lynette: "Because it's personal. It's the kind of thing she would only want me to tell her friends." Edie: "I'm Susan's friend. Well, I don't hate her." Lynette: "Edie, if you want me to share stuff with you, you're gonna have to start being more supportive of Susan." Edie: "Okay. How?" Lynette: "What do friends do? They call, they're sympathetic, they ask about the pain the other person is going through, and then they listen." Edie: "What if you want...