Ayahuasca is a powerful medicinal medicine that comes from the Amazon. It has been around for centuries, needs to be taken seriously, and is not for everyone. In this episode, fellow coach and healer, Kate Bandmann and I discuss our ayahuasca experiences — the terror and discomfort to the enhancements and growths. This is the last episode of Season 3! I'll see you in the fall when we kick off Season 4! Interested in work with a coach on your relationship style and sex life? Check out more info here: https://www.ellenmelon.com/1on1 Find Kate here: https://www.instagram.com/elevate.integrate.therapy/ https://msha.ke/elevateintegratetherapy/ ____________________ Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________
In this episode, I fly solo in offering a different perspective on the Texas School Shooting. Yes, maybe it’s gun law reform and yes, it’s also hurting children in angry bodies. As more people feel disconnected, they grow angrier. Happy, secure children who have a sense of self don’t shoot up schools. It’s time to teach people how to process their childhood and FEEL THEIR FEELINGS. I will discuss: My own experience of middle school and high school and what I noticed What is emotional neglect and emotional immature parents? 10 Themes of emotional neglect Mother wound Perfectionism as a byproduct of shame Belonging & Connection Shame, Empathy, Guilt, Humiliation and Embarrassment Cultivating authenticity 10 Themes of Emotional Neglect (from Dr Jonice Webbs “Running on Empty” Book): Feelings of Emptiness Counter-Dependence Unrealistic Self-Appraisal No Compassion for Self, Plenty for Others Guilt and Shame: What is Wrong With Me? Self-Directed Anger, Self-Blame Fatal Flaw (If People Really Know Me They Won’t Like Me) Difficulty Nurturing Self and Others Poor Self-Discipline Alexithymia: Poor Awareness and Understanding of Emotions Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________ Books discussed: Running on Empty by Jonice Webb PhD with Christine Musello PsyD Adult children of emotionally immature parents : how to heal from distant, rejecting, or self-involved parents by Lindsay C. Gibson Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown
What are you thoughts and feelings on porn? How do you use it in your life? In this episode Sex Coach, Jessica Childs and I discuss our own relationship with porn. Episode adopted from Erotic Ed, a YouTube Channel that was deleted. Orignial recording date: 7/8/21 Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: Episode #10. Thinking about a career in sex work? Common misconceptions about the sex work industry - with Alice Little 10 Skills for Repair Blog Post: https://www.somaticainstitute.com/blog/10-steps-to-successful-relationship-repair/ Dipsea: https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/the-new-look-and-feel-of-dipsea/ ____________________ Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com
Do you avoid conflict? Does it feel like you're walking on eggshells in your home, in your relationships? Then you need some education around repair. In this episode I pull out the Erotic Ed Archives — a YouTube Channel Show hosted by S x Coaches, Jessica and Ellen Melon –where we discuss the fundamentals of a repair conversation. Repair meaning, a hard conversation after an argument or rupture between 2 people. It's important to learn repair because it is a skill of empathetic listening and self awareness that will greatly enhance your relationships. We'll talk about our own experiences with repair, our own examples of avoiding conflict, and walk through the 10 Steps of Repair, created by Celeste & Danielle of Somatica Institute. Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: ____________________ Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________
For those of you who struggle with not being enough — your body type, your penis size, your ethnicity — this is an episode for you. In this episode I interview international sex expert and sex educator, Kenneth Play. Named the “world’s greatest sex hacker” by GQ, he has been featured by more than one hundred media outlets, including The New York Times, Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan, Huffington Post, and Nightline. Kenneth is an Asian immigrant with an average-sized penis who lived most of his early life with crippling sexual insecurity. Determined to overcome this anxiety, he dedicated his life to studying the complexities of academic sex research, exploring the mysteries of Tantra, immersing himself in the forbidden world of BDSM, and even joining the lustful chaos of underground sex parties. We’ll talk about his journey as a young man, his current lifestyle and relationships, penis size, and squirting, He pulls a lot from his new book, BEYOND SATISFIED: A sex hacker’s guide to endless orgasms, mind blowing connection, and lasting confidence. In Beyond Satisfied, Kenneth shares the sex hacking secrets he’s successfully taught millions of men. This book is a cross between Bruce Lee’s mixed martial arts approach and Tim Ferriss’ 80/20 rule—but for sex. Far from just another “find her clitoris” guide, Beyond Satisfied distills hard science and hands-on experience into techniques that any man can successfully put into practice. Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: https://kennethplay.com/ https://book.kennethplay.com/beyond-satisfied-bookll https://go.kennethplay.com/sex-hacker-pro-deal https://www.instagram.com/kenneth_play/ https://www.facebook.com/kennethplaypage/ Hacienda - desire/belonging, responsible hedonism, high novelty needs vs high security needs “Open Smarter” by Dr Zhana Squirtingsurvey.com: https://kenneth-play.mykajabi.com/encore-1620413533 ____________________ Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________
How do you show up as the genuine YOU in dating? How do you know when you’re performing? How can you ensure you’re being authentic? In this illuminating episode, I invite Connell Barrett, Men’s Dating Coach, to talk about his book, about his journey toward becoming a dating coach, and his own relationship experiences. We talk about confidence and how it relates to trust — the foundation of a sustainable relationship. Connell Barrett is the author of the best selling book Dating Sucks But You Don't and a renowned dating coach for men, helping them to be their most authentic selves in a way that doesn't creep out women or treat them as a notch on the bedpost. His communication framework, called ACE —Authenticity, Clarity and Expressiveness —teaches men how to channel their most confident self. Because women love confident men. Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: https://datingtransformation.com/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/howtobeyourbestself/ https://www.instagram.com/datingtransformation/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt-JnM8eimynPRxpQDgsirg ____________________ Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator, Ellen Melon can be found: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________
“We have to belong to ourselves as much as we need to belong to others. Any belonging that asks us to betray ourselves is not true belonging.” — Brene Brown, Atlas of the Heart Belonging is the key to intimate friendships. Never once have I felt the need to change myself or be someone else around Amy, Tom, or Hailey. I’ve always been able to be authentically received by them. Who is your support team? Who are the people who know how to hold you (metaphorically and physically) when you’re having a tough day? When you’re experiencing shame? Not enough-ness? Guilt? Anger? Grief? It took me a long time to find these people and cultivate what we have, but here is a 3 Part Series with my support team and a peek behind the curtain into what our conversations look like (via phone because they all live outside MN). So many clients ask me: “How do I cultivate intimate friendships?” In a society wrought with fears and securities, it’s so hard to trust anyone. It’s hard to create a foundation of safety. Both parties need to be willing to take the risk and both parties need to be open and willing to hear how the other person wants to be loved. In this 3 Part Series, we talk to my 3 close friends — Tom, Amy, Hailey — checking in about the state of our friendship. What’s working? What’s not? What’s hard? What’s easy? They are raw recordings containing laughter, vulnerability, compassion, and love. We are all showing up with a lot of trust in these interviews. If you need a glimpse into hard and fulfilling relationship conversations, please listen. Part 1 with Tom: In this episode, we discuss our rift in friendship over time — we questioned why friendships of the opposite gender experience distance when a new dating perspective comes into play. We talk about our college experience and how our friendship developed due to close proximity and collaboration in art projects. We also talk about why this friendship is important and what we’d like to see for ourselves in the future. Part 2 with Hailey: In this episode, Hailey and I talk about female friendships of our past — what worked and what didn’t —recognizing that a lot of those friendships were centered around drama. We revisit a very hard conversation and disagreement about vaccines to showcase how to hold both compassion (and understanding) and disagreement in both hands lovingly. We close out with what we love about our friendship and what improvement can be made. Hailey and I co-peer a support group every other Sunday called “Anxious Attached Hearts Club” for those with anxious attachment who need a place to work it out and find more security in their community. Part 3 with Amy: In this episode, you’ll see what a 12 year friendship looks like. I met Amy in college, so we discuss the early years of our friendship, getting to know each other, how we are both control freaks, how I tried to rescue Amy often in college (especially in her relationships). We discuss the ways in which we feel supported by each other — what we go to each other for. We’ll discuss the areas in which we can step up our friendship and define what vulnerability and intimacy means for us in our friendship. We end with some sentiments and a conversation on trust. Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: 1on1 coaching: www.ellenmelon.com/1on1 PARTS 1: https://tohumpapillow.libsyn.com/51-how-to-intimacy-and-vulnerability-in-friendships-with-dear-friend-tom-wixo-part-1-of-3 PART 2: https://tohumpapillow.libsyn.com/52-how-to-do-intimacy-and-vulnerability-in-friendships-with-best-friend-hailey-hosler-part-2-of-3 PART 3: https://tohumpapillow.libsyn.com/53-how-to-do-intimacy-and-vulnerability-in-friendships-with-best-friend-amy-edler-part-3-of-3
“We have to belong to ourselves as much as we need to belong to others. Any belonging that asks us to betray ourselves is not true belonging.” — Brene Brown, Atlas of the Heart Belonging is the key to intimate friendships. Never once have I felt the need to change myself or be someone else around Amy, Tom, or Hailey. I’ve always been able to be authentically received by them. Who is your support team? Who are the people who know how to hold you (metaphorically and physically) when you’re having a tough day? When you’re experiencing shame? Not enough-ness? Guilt? Anger? Grief? It took me a long time to find these people and cultivate what we have, but here is a 3 Part Series with my support team and a peek behind the curtain into what our conversations look like (via phone because they all live outside MN). So many clients ask me: “How do I cultivate intimate friendships?” In a society wrought with fears and securities, it’s so hard to trust anyone. It’s hard to create a fo...
Who is your support team? Who are the people who know how to hold you (metaphorically and physically) when you’re having a tough day? When you’re experiencing shame? Not enough-ness? Guilt? Anger? Grief? It took me a long time to find these people and cultivate what we have, but here is a 3 Part Series with my support team and a peek behind the curtain into what our conversations look like (via phone because they all live outside MN). So many clients ask me: “How do I cultivate intimate friendships?” In a society wrought with fears and securities, it’s so hard to trust anyone. It’s hard to create a foundation of safety. Both parties need to be willing to take the risk and both parties need to be open and willing to hear how the other person wants to be loved. In this 3 Part Series, we talk to my 3 close friends — Tom, Amy, Hailey — checking in about the state of our friendship. What’s working? What’s not? What’s hard? What’s easy? They are raw recordings containing laugh...
In this episode, I invite Nischa Phair back for a deep dive on receiving pleasure, authentic sexuality and how they are related. Nischa tells us about how pleasure “is relational thing” — it is an outward thing that we share. She talks about how authentic sexuality is a commitment to a process — something we might not always practice well, but try our best next time. She also speaks to some other off-topics like “collapsing the vanilla-kink duality,” “tend and befriend” behavior, and how breath and pleasure work together. All of these topics can be found in her book: FAWN: When No Looks Like Yes, available where books are sold. Don’t forget to catch Part 1: #49. "Fawn: When No Looks Like Yes" — Her new book on the nervous system, ignoring red flags, and fawning —where we unpack the definition of fawning. How our nervous system is informed by the outside world. What happens in our body when we fawn — a shut down below the diaphragm. She tells us how this might be the reason women are without libido and disconnected from their pleasure and erotic energy. Nischa tells us her story and direct experiences of fawning. Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: https://www.nischaphair.com/site/about https://www.instagram.com/nischaphair/ Buy the book: https://www.nischaphair.com/fawn-book ____________________ Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator, Ellen Melon can be found: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________