One of the greatest tragedies is having your life be less than it could be. Mark Goulston is a former UCLA professor of psychiatry and FBI and police hostage negotiation trainer, as well as a widely read author who has been featured in The Harvard Business Review, The Wall Street Journal, and Business Insider. Partly adapted from his best-selling book Get Out of Your Own Way, these 12 lessons will help you defeat the self-defeating behavior that is keeping your life from being what it could be.
What You'll Learn
- Strategies for overcoming procrastination
- Better ways of relating to other people
- Skills for approaching major problems and opportunities
What if you’re not lazy, you’re just lonely?
2. Taking Things Too Personally
Try out the 72-hour rule for the times when you feel offended or hurt.
3. Not Learning from Your Mistakes
Reparent yourself to stop being afraid of failure.
4. Quitting Too Soon
Widen your perspective of past experiences to evaluate whether you should or shouldn’t quit current (or future) undertakings.
5. Trying to Change Others
It’s impossible. So why do we try so hard? Learning why will help us to stop.
6. Holding onto a Grudge
Learn why we hold grudges in the first place, and how forgiveness is accepting the apology you will never receive.
7. Thinking “I’m sorry” is enough
Practice the three A’s of an effective apology.
8. Talking Too Much
Use the Traffic Light Rule to stop talking before the other person stops listening.
9. Feeling Sorry for Yourself
Support groups solve the problem that self-pity is trying and failing to solve.
10. Making Bad Situations Worse
Try out the 72-hour rule to let breakdowns lead to breakthroughs.
11. Taking and Not Taking No for an Answer
Use surgical empathy to turn “No” into an opportunity, instead of a source of awkwardness.
12. Letting Fear Run Your Life
Find courage using stories from your past to unlock the way forward.