Has your emotionally and psychologically abusive partner betrayed and gaslit you? Are you considering couple's therapy as a last resort to save the marriage? Here's the truth about couple's therapy and why it does more harm than good to woman in an abuse scenario. Rachel, a member of the BTR community, is on the BTR podcast, boldly sharing her own story. Rachel learned for herself that couple's therapy was far more harmful than helpful because her abusive ex-husband, like many abusers, weaponized it. Listen to the BTR podcast and read the full transcript below for more. Abuse Is Not A Couple's Issue: It's HIS Issue "Couple's therapy doesn't work in an abuse scenario because abusers want everything to be equal. He wants it to be true couple therapy where it's a problem that you both have that you're both working on, rather than it's his problem that he needs to fix."Anne Blythe, founder of BTR.ORG One of the key reasons that couple's therapy harms victims it that abusers see it as an opportunity to blame the victim equally. Rather than taking full responsibility for their abuse, they can take the approach that the marriage has all sorts of issues and triangulate with the counselor or therapist so that the victim feels obligated to take on a degree of accountability. However, abuse is NEVER the victim's fault. The blame lies solely with the abuser. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhAA-ir2Rbc&t=2s Abuse Gets Mislabeled in Couple's Therapy In our Group Sessions at BTR.ORG, women often relate that in couple's therapy, the abuse was often mislabeled as: * A communication issue* Codependency (on the victim's part)* Pornography addiction* A personality disorder* Jealousy * Anger management issues* Passion* A lack of humility and submission (on the victim's part)* An attachment disorder or issue Clergy and most therapists are simply not equipped to identify and deal with abuse and trauma. BTR.ORG Is Here For You At BTR.ORG we understand that abuse is never, ever your fault. We don't blame you, in even the smallest way, for his abusiveness. Our BTR.ORG Group Sessions provide a safe space for you to find the validation, safety, and community to process your experiences. Join today and begin your journey to healing. Full Transcript Anne (00:00):Welcome to BTR. This is Anne. I have a member of our community on today's podcast. Her name is Rachel. And in addition to sharing her story, she's also going to share a poem with us today. So I'm really excited to have her talk with us. Welcome, Rachel. Rachel (03:35):Thank you, Anne. I feel privileged to try and be here and help other women in my situation, if you will, to feel like they're not alone, because I think that is one of the biggest things that keeps you in the midst of abuse. And you're trying to please everyone and, and the reality, you just want to be safe. Anne (03:55):Let's talk about your story. When you first met your now ex-husband did you realize that some of the things that you were seeing were abuse? "He Said All The Right Things"