關鍵對話：在親密關系中如何溝通？（附英文原稿）

0.Introducing That Conversation 0.介紹那次談話 Hi, I'm judgeLynn Toler. And I want to talk to you about how to talk to the person you're inlove with if I've learned nothing else. In 13 years, as the judge on divorcecourt in 32 years of marriage. And while writing my book, making marriage work,it's the communication in the context of a romantic relationship can be a verycomplicated thing. 嗨，我是林恩·托勒法官。我想和你談談，如果我什麼都没學到，怎麼和你愛的人說話。在13年的婚姻生活中，擔任離婚法庭法官32年。當我寫這本書的時候，讓婚姻成功，在浪漫關系中的交流是一件非常復雜的事情。  It's payingbills, making meals, according compromise, handling hurt, conveying needs, orsimply seeking satisfying sex. The easiest way to get those things done isthrough effective communication. That's what this pod course is all about init. I will discuss how to establish good communication habits before problemsever start. 它是付賬單，做飯，妥協，處理傷害，傳達需求，或者僅...

1. ThatConversation 1.那次談話 From years 15 to18, I would have sold my husband to any willing woman for a dollar. And theymay have gotten some chain. We were in a very unhappy untenable, unkind place,and I couldn't figure out what the problem was. Until one day I went to courtand saw a string of cases that highlighted exactly what we were doing wrong athome. 從15歲到18歲，我會把我的丈夫賣給任何願意為一美元的女人。他們可能得到了一些鎖鏈。我們在一個非常不愉快，難以忍受，不友善的地方，我不知道是什麼問題。直到有一天，我去了法院，看到了一系列的案件，這些案件清楚地表明了我們在家里做錯了什麼。  That's whatallowed me to come back with an understanding of the need for effectivecommunication I'm judged and told her. And this bond course is about thatconversation. And when I say that conversation, I mean, all of theconversations that you have with your spouse, your boyfriend, your girlfriend,your living, love your significant other. 這也讓我重新認識到了有效溝通的...

2. What’sHappening in Your Head 2.你腦子里在想什麼 You're listeningto that conversation. A Himalaya learning audio course, be sure to check outall of the other awesome exclusive content in the Himalaya app or Anihimalaya.com. Hi, I'm going to start this episode by telling me the story aboutthe woman who left her camera in Mississippi. We were into forest 你在聽那個對話。一個喜馬拉雅學習音頻課程，一定要看看喜馬拉雅應用程序或Ani中所有其他令人敬畏的獨家內容喜馬拉雅網站.嗨，我要從這一集開始講一個關於那個把相機落在密西西比州的女人的故事。我們進入了森林court. 法庭。  I had a couplein front of me. They are originally from Mississippi, but they now lived inCalifornia. She was all day unhappy. He was all day angry. He kept telling mestory after story about how he tried to make our happy, how we tried thesatisfier. But no matter what he did, no matter how far he tried, no matterwhat he listened to, no matter what he did did, she was perpetually unhappy. 我前面有...

3. What’sHappening in Their Head 3.他們腦子里在想什麼 Since emotionsare so fast and sloppy, we have to sit down and take the time to make sure weunderstand them and understanding yours is one thing. Understanding theemotions of the person with whom you are dealing is quite another. I'm going totry to in this pod course help you get that done. 因為情緒是如此快速和草率，我們必須坐下來花時間確保我們理解它們，而理解你的情緒是一回事。了解和你打交道的人的情緒是另一回事。我將在這個播客課程中試著幫你完成。  Hello, how areyou? This is judge Len Toler, and I'd like to welcome you to the next episodeof that conversation. That conversation is designed to help you talk to theperson that you're in love with. Now in our last episode, we talked aboutemotional intelligence. How you should take a look at who you are, where you'refrom and what you've been through in order to help you determine what you wantto say and how you want to say it today. 你好，你好嗎？我是倫托勒...

5. The Art of ListeningIf some guy came up to you and said, look,I got $30 million in a cave somewhere. I've got five minutes to live. Can'twrite it down. We don't have any recording equipment. So I'm going to tell youthis one time and this one time only how to get. To the treasure. Now, how muchconcentration do you think you would have on that information?[00:00:36] You need to listen to yourpartner with that same sense of detail and passion. And if you're listen, likethey're trying to send you to a million dollar treasure, you will in fact findthat million dollar treasure. Because good love over a long period of time is amillion dollars worth a happy, I believe that.[00:01:01] Hi, I'm judge Lynn Toler. Andwelcome to that conversation. The pod course in which I help you learn to talkto the person that you're in love with today's episode is going to be calledthe art of listening. You know, I spent 13 years on the bench on divorce courtand we flew couples in from all over...

7. Starting an effective conversationOne day. I realized from watching folks indivorce court, and I'm telling you divorce course saved my marriage more thanonce or twice because you get to see a whole lot of people making the samemistake over and over again is that he didn't know what I needed because Ididn't tell him.[00:00:26] Hello, this is judge LAN. Andthis is another episode of that conversation, a podcast dedicated to theproposition of helping you talk to the person that you're in love with episodeseven is all about understanding your conversational pattern. Yes. I know itsounds boring, but it's not stand with me. And as usual I'm going to startwith,[00:00:53] my father was brilliant, man.And often with brilliance comes a bit of emotional dysfunction. My father wasbipolar, mostly on the manic side. He was a difficult dude to deal with thestory that I'm going to tell you is about a light socket. One day, my fathercame in the house and the lights were on in a room ...

8. Redirecting the TrajectoryWe always got stuck in the same place untilone day when I said what I said, which I had been saying for years, he pausedbecause he was thinking about why I kept saying it. And the next thing he saidwas genius. Hi, this is judge Lynn Toler, and welcome to episode eight of thatconversation. An audio course designed to help you talk to the person thatyou're in love with this episode is going to be called breaking badcommunication habits.[00:00:44] Now we all get into bad communicationhabits. In fact, we all get into bad habits. Routinely bad habits are thehobgoblin of not getting it right. We tend to do what we've already done overand over and over again. As a matter of fact on divorce court, what I found waspeople will always tell me, you know, judge I've tried everything.[00:01:09] I've tried every way to talk tothem. I've tried every way to convince her. But nothing seems to change. Thenwhen I asked them, what effect did you try? We all reali...